So what is it like to live in captivity? Everything is decided for you. You never really get to choose for yourself, even if the one holding you says that you can choose something. Because you are not free, you really cant. You are constantly trying to assess and reassess his mood and his motives, even during a random act of kindness common in a relationship like that. You soon learn that in order to survive, you must be able to read the smallest facial expressions, changes in mood and behavior, and even his mind, to a certain degree. You also can develop an intense fear of abandonment because you become completely dependent on the abuser/captor. This can really adversely effect even healthy and loving relationships you may have later on after the abusive relationship has ended. I know this was, and to a degree, still is quite true for me with some of my relationships. I am very afraid of being alone. Even all these years later, I still fear being alone. But the good news is, even with all of the damage inflicted on me by someone, I still have a huge capacity to both give and receive love. It took some healing but in the end, I decided that he had taken enough and he was NOT getting that. He was not getting my heart or the rest of my life. Take back your life...Love again...its okay.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:08:25 +0000
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