Some advice for anybody planning to watch X-Factor later this evening ... By recording last weeks two and a half hour extravaganza, I was later able to skip through the following: 264 x commercial breaks (thats what it felt like, at least) 16 x Louis Walsh saying You look great. You sound great. Oi tink youll do well in dis competition Everything said by female judge #1 ... the one who sounds like Keith Lemon. Everything said by female judge #2 ... the one whose make-up made me think she was going trick-or-treating on a Newcastle council estate after the show. Everything said by the little fella in Norman Wisdoms suit. This includes the oft-repeated instructions on how to download the X-Factor app and how calling the telephone numbers to vote for the contestants will cost you the equivalent of the national debt of Venezuela should you decide to call from your mobile. I was also able to fast-forward through the video segments that preceded every performance. The content of these was invariably the artiste sat in jogging pants on a bed in a house that has been leased from that unemployed woman with 17 kids who was in the Sun newspaper last year. The contestants were inevitably on their phones having teary conversations with their parents, siblings, husbands, wives or Dominos ... despite having only left home a little over an hour previously. Restricting each performance to one verse and one chorus was enough to form an opinion without having to endure the entire reworking of a classic. And the post-performance interview, no matter what question is asked, always elicited the same response ... That felt brilliant. Im just so glad to be here. Gone also. Now, its entirely up to you, but ... my advice to you would be to hit the record button, and watch V for Vendetta on Sky Movies (8:00pm-10:15pm). Youll still have plenty of time to watch the highlights (and I use the term loosely) before Match Of The Day starts at 10:30pm. Enjoy your evening.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 17:56:46 +0000
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