Sometimes it hits me.. I am responsible for two young lives.. Most of it I have done alone, though their dad is in their lives constantly and awesome, essentially I am the person in this house that is responsible for their upbringing. This thought overwhelms me at moments. I have never been a conventional normal parent, not good with routine, screw up here and there, have made as many mistakes as sacrifices. Had to reevaluate the way I was raised and learn new patterns, taking the good and losing the bad. I have had to read books and discuss endlessly with friends how to fill in the many blanks, all the things that were never taught to me because my parents did not have the tools to teach it. There are moments I am sure I am the worst and other moments I feel like a super hero. Not looking for sympathy cuz I know there are so many of us out there doing it the best we can, I just wanted other parents out there to understand its a constant struggle for me to know what is right and what is not. I struggle from not having a proper template of what healthy choices are and I seek guidance every moment possible. The thought I am alone with this fear scares me even more so I am putting it out there that I am doing everything in my power to make a difference in my parenting. I got only so much time to have influence in their lives before they venture out and I hope I have done the groundwork the best I can. Not sure if this post is important to anyone else but I am putting it out there to create conversation about our parenting and hopefully to stimulate other thoughts..
Posted on: Mon, 26 May 2014 02:02:17 +0000