Starr Presbyterian Church News July 2013 The Acorn From Your Interim Pastorâ While your PNC continues searching for your next installed pastor, letâs continue our considera-tion of the relationship of pastor and church. Last month, I wrote to you about the stresses caused by a congregationâs expectations of the pastor and the pastorâs expectations of the church. This month, we branch out a little and consider the pastorâs family. What expectations do you have of the spouse and kids who may come with the pastor? What might they expect from you? Obviously, the happiness of a pastorâs family plays a big part in the pastorâs satisfaction in a position. So, caring for the family is every bit as important as caring for the pastor. But what can you, a church member, do about it? How can you help the new pastorâs family coming to Starr? Here are a few suggestions: - Give them time. The family will need time to adjust to a new situation. By the time your next pastor comes, you will have had a few years since your last installed pastoral rela-tionship and therefore had time to let go of that family and get ready to embrace a new one. For the pastorâs family, however, it may be very different. It may have only been a couple of weeks since their last Sunday with the former congregation. They will likely still be grieving and letting go of that relationship even while they begin their new relationship with you. - Remember that the pastorâs spouse is a volunteer, just like you. He or she has married a person who felt a call to be a pastor. That doesnât mean the spouse felt called to be a ministerâs husband or a ministerâs wife. (In my own case, I wasnât even planning to be a pastor when we married! Deanna married me, not a minister.) So, allow the spouse to take on activities that he or she feels called of God to do. Stop yourself if you hear your-self about to say: âThe last ministerâs wife â. (You fill in the blank: âtaught Sunday School,â âstarted a youth group,â âwashed dishes after church dinners,â âplayed the piano,â âled devotions at the circle meetings,â etc.) - Also, let the ministerâs children be who they are. Let them express their unique gifts, their talents, their interests, and their personalities in their own way. Let them contribute to congregational life in the way they feel led by God. Allow them the freedom your kids have. And donât forget to let them know you appreciate whatever they decide to do. - Keep in mind that pastorsâ kids sometimes struggle with their faith, just like every other Christian! In fact, pastorsâ kids have some unique struggles. They may have been hurt by the remarks and attitudes of previous congregation members and have some healing to do. So, if they get angry, act out or show resentment, love them anyway. Teach them by your example what it means to love as Christ loves! In conclusion, let me say that you already have the most important ingredient for a beautiful relationship with your next pastorâs family: love. And that is what your pastorâs family will need most from you!
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 01:57:29 +0000
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