Strange things happened today. It is as if my sincerity is being challenged, tested. I failed the test. Everything was ok going into it. I was fully prepared, feeling great, and riding my motorcycle. Sun shining on me. I stepped to the podium after a brief discussion with one of my favorite profs filling in for a few minutes to keep track of my presentation until Dr. Cook arrived from the airport. I was laughing and clowning it up. Then it just all fell apart. I couldnt get one single bit of the technology I had learned to use, and spent many hours working with, to work. I NEVER ONE TIME have EVER practiced a speech or presentation. I have been talking in front of people since I was 12 years old. NEVER! I practiced this to make sure I was well versed in the technology, of which I am not a big fan. I leave technology to the techies. Its just too boring for my tastes. No handles to grip you know? So I just finally shut my lap top and walked out. I would rather take the Fail than subject myself to another moment of that shameful presentation. How embarrassing. I am a much better speaker than that. I was so disgusted with my performance. I calm was blown so I went to meditate. I had some coffee instead. I pulled my ego suit back on, the one She had relieved me of Thursday. It slides on so fast, so carelessly, and feels so safe initially, but the toll is high.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 02:23:02 +0000
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