Subject: ABA (Affordable Boat Act) is now the law of the land. Every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These affordable boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs. This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a affordable boat of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 free life jackets; not including monthly usage fees. In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people dont want or cant afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined. Children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boats. If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you dont want or dont need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 or face imprisonment until you purchase one. Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat. A government review board (that doesnt know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat. Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment. Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, are also exempt.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 03:56:50 +0000
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