Summer Camp News: A Brief editorial Yes, another summer is passing at Camp Facebook. Another glorious and wonderful summer; another horrible and miserable summer.As usual in this place, where we have been attending sessions for years, time seems to stand still. Between you and me this is , dare I say, good and bad? It seems that one can do anything one wants to do here.Or at least thats what they tell us. In fact Camp Director Mark came to a Enormous Meeting and announced that in exactly those terms with a glowing and tanned popular optimistic and very upbeat smile. I had if i am allowed to suggest such ..I am not sure what all the rules are anywhere I go at times, those written down perhaps and those not written down..Dare we wonder? Well this time Marks Assistant to the Administrator to the Vice President..and here pardon me my memory is not infallible to the Director in Charge of International Human Rights, multicolor and multidimensional division came to me personally and said Paulie, why not do a thought piece for us on this topic? Great idea I thought to myself as grateful for this microscopic bit of attention i guess I can joke here and nobody will throw pies at my face or hummus platters or piled up pasta or chitlins or old gefilte fish or shoes or singapore lo main but as usual, who will really read me? or understand me? Or applaud me? or hire me for any real life job as any hard or soft boiled real life writer so i can afford a real life place of ,my own away from Mom and Dad and Company or their endless set of Affiliates and Surrogates and Friends and Cousins from AAA to ZZZ? Well when i write stuff like that Mom applauds in her dark sunglasses way behind the scenes and maybe one or two weirdos with flat feet or infinitely dysfunctional families whose essential level of psycho and social pathology not that i dont pity them is so contagious and malevolent that one brief encounter might wreck you for life Well sorry Should not suggest anybody can be like that or become like that or chose to be like that or is ever forced to be like that by any set of circumstances. That is too much to think about for anyone. remotely human or understandable by us. As I am about the least popular columnist around and then when I spew a complicated and meandering essay on the meaningfulness and meaninglessness of things in general or the space program or some poem making fun of how sloppy our bunk region is, I get two or three responses if i am super lucky. Gee. Should i be grateful or lament or withdraw or tear it all up or give it up or become so called bitter? Not sure how to process that , quite frankly between I and thou Well, one might say there is nowhere to look but up or perhaps if one choses and it seems to me one must agree (informal camp rules it seems) that one chooses a certain number of things or that one was responsible for them in some way or that one could do something about it or that if something went wrong or very wrong any good people around would cease what they were doing and intervene bravely and boldly and in a mature self assertive style. Nope. Does not seem the case.. I get no attention or respect or it seems love and such, do I? Or next to none Makes me despair and think of fancy or very fancy words to describe that despair in the languages i know.Maybe a bit more than average but that does not seem enough There are bookstores in the City now where you need to know five to ten foreign languages to get a sales job of the lowest order in a bookstore at near minimum wage. Or three to ten computer languages to get a halfway decent programming job anywhere if one is into that. Or to have published 1000 articles or books these days if one wants a halfway decent teaching job Or if you want one of those heavy duty marketing or publicity or press rep or theatre or other jobs damn it a 1000 headshots.or half naked or naked shots..And that sells. Gee what are you worried about, smile the guys and girls with the phone cameras? Loosen up. Loosen your assholes said one of them to the whole meeting a year or so ago. some really smart and educated but slick fat dude with a booming voice and Van Dyke mustache and slicked back hair. Um i am not supposed to notice sort of thing that am i? because if you notice this or that or think too much about that or this or go on and generalize about such and such you might not be appreciated or liked or respected or tolerated or promoted or stroked or praised or helped or kept around for the full duration of the session Yeah and another very respectable soft spoken gentle seeming and always sweet consistent and optimistic camper named David I Something forget his last name won First Prize, several years in a row for a soothing lovely optimistic starry eyed smiling paeon to Camp Facebook again and again and not to overly disparage him i ALWAYS come in Second in these or any other large or small or medium sized competitions of any kind (or far far worse, sometimes second from Last) which always means NOTHING in this world of any remotely practical or useful value As dad used to always say even though he also said if memory serves me at all and those fade too never listen to anything your Father says! Gee That sort of single double and triple whammy advice and stuff might confuse almost anybody??? I am not saying and would never ever say that Camp Facebook is a bad place or that anything is rotten here top bottom or middle which would be rude, ungrateful and messy or just way too easy How bad is it compared to Previous Administrations under Benito and Adolph and Sigmund and Teddy and Josif and Enver and other fine folks celebrated with numerous gloriously grinning or gloriously scowling photos and statues and monuments and tape recordings coming in all sizes shapes dimensions and price ranges to suit every customer around from the lowest most squashed and insignificant and eccentric and oppressed and squashed and tormented 84 cent per day man )or woman) and some of these are great people to some of the 800 million per year or more people whose idea of a summer houseclearing is tossing out the porsches , rolls royces and mercedes or ferraris which are the wrong color or model for the New Social Season..or no longer pleased the owner. I saw that with some campers...from a huge social distance of course which they did not always get so to speak. who were Beautiful People or Nouveau Riche or Super rich or Scions of ancient Aristocratic Houses in Europe and America. And I also know though I a not sure if this is politically correct to say right now here or anywhere else among some of the younger or more irrresponsible or wayward members of Middle Easterm royal dynasties and it seems there are a lot off them Yeah your Solid Gold New Rolls Royce runs out of gas in the middle of the desert Naturally you were to blame but who cares? You are a Prince of such and such an Absolutely Honorable Respectable And Terrifying Household and you get on your cellphone, scream a lot at Mom or Dad or the Royal Counselors and poof: in a day or so or far less if you are appropriately pissed and threatening someobody shows up with a chauffeur a big bright smile some apologies and a brand New replacement Rolls.Which of course you are objectively and legally entitled to. Sorry everybody. or anybody who reads this I am sort of immobile or immobilized now. Yeah not everybody or can get that Summer Fever of some kind? But Complex or Hypercomplex Summer Fever?Yeah no wonder they keep me so little and at the bottom of the camp social pyramid and at the end of every line for everything available at camp from the good food they hide to a kiss from Nicole , or Heather which can be super expensive or a kiss or word or hug or touch from Chaya.(which means Life by the way in Hebrew)..but that is too painful for a man to think about this particular summer or a remote kiss from Nada or Anna who it seems are almost always absolutely unfond of Hebrew or well...Broke as usual. Sort of sick Spent up all my money for July and gotta wing it on credit of one kind which is almost never altogether comfortable..and can provoke 10,000 000 or maybe far more (not into cataloguing and collecting stuff now) horrible bad internal and external habits that the doctors cant seem to treat these days Damn Nobody is going to read this all over the place meandering unfocussed piece of crap article with im sure a ton of errors of every kind so Ill just leave it in Editor Tommys box to see if he hates it or wants to chuck it or what and sign myself as (you gotta come up with new nicknames all the time because the old ones DO stick almost forever) at Camp Facebook or maybe anywhere else . Editor/Reporter/Paulie THE INACTION HERO
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 07:23:47 +0000
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