THE BUS STOP. A RUDE FUNNY SHORT STORY BY LEE GILMOUR OI Mary is that you ? the lassie said, leaning down at the bus stop bench and giving the lassie beside her a hard nudge on the shoulder so she budged over to let her sit down. Aye, its me Senga how are you, she said yanking her Haley-hanson jacket up around her love-bite covered neck. You off the gear? Senga looks for a moment like she might strike out, her bushy eyebrows scrunch together forming a single, M like a MacDonalds sign, her lips purse tighter than a cats arse hole but then she lets out a exhale of air and says. Aye Ive been off it four weeks now, longest time, well proud of myself. Even managed to take the wanes to school the day without tripping out and thinking the teachers were demons trying to eat me like that last time I got the jail. she paused as if waiting for a high five or a medal but when non came she went on at a hurried pace. Must be the new meds the doctor gave me because honestly see for the past month Ive been wetter than a dugs chin after a big bowl of milk. My bed sheets at hame are drenched, hand on my heart no even kidding ye on. Looks like an Otter has built a damn in my covers there that saturated. My boyfriend woke up and thought he was in the deep end of the swimming pool. Poor cunt was screaming fur a float. she tossed back her head and cackled, witch like, revealing a gob full of black teeth like the burnt bits of a frying pan. Its no like me to want my hole, but since I cut out the smack and have been on these my fannys went from a burnt un-used council-flat-couch to a gushy flume. You know when you go to the dentist and he numbs your mooth and you slever all doon yer chin and canny help it my fanny keeps doing the same honest ive chinged my knickers six times the day and the only way I can keep em dry is by wrapping my hole in a bin bags and hoping for the best. she reaches down and claws between her legs. Only problem is you walk about and it sounds like you got tin-foil for a lady garden. I keep asking the boyfriend to buy scuba gear aff that gum tree so he can go down on me without my fearing that the cunt will droon she laughed harder, Mary beside her looks like she does not want to be there, but is doing her best, smile-and-pretend face. Aye, well hen god to see you I am off, Aldi got a special on bin bags the day and I am stocking up Senga stands up, pats Mary on the shoulder and walks off, with each step she rustles and she stops several times to pick at her ass-crack and crotch, looking like a butch version of John Wayne movie, as if she had just ridden eight hours on horse back through a scorching hot desert and her legs were rid-raw and chaffing She stops once more at the end of the street turns back just as Mary is getting on the bus and yells out There I go again HEN. I blinked too hard there and now my flaps are slapping together like the fins of a hungry seal at deep sea world. You need to get on these pills hen. Most fun ive had in years And with that she turns and shuffles off up the town leaving the crowd of people staring gob smacked.
Posted on: Tue, 13 May 2014 00:07:03 +0000
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