THE DADDY DIARIES 17 December 2014 Marietta, GA Tonight one of the boys and I were watching television together in the living room. The show was unmemorable; I cannot recall what it was. The moment, however, will be burned in my memory as the day we took a sharp turn on the road to young manhood. While the TV show may have been less than captivating, there was a commercial which caught the attention of more than one pair of eyes in that room tonight. Suddenly, and without warning, an attractive, curvy blonde woman appeared on that big screen, dressed in white and riding a war horse as she rallied medieval troops before her. It was a commercial for some mobile video game called Game of War. The scene reminded me of the film Braveheart, but this female William Wallace was much, much, MUCH more captivating than Mel Gibson’s. Thirty seconds later my daddy-filter failed me. Before I knew it, four little, condemning words slipped past my lips, like a sharp arrow, carelessly fired into the air. “Wow! Who was that?!?!” Almost as quickly as I uttered that phrase, I realized what I had done. Instant embarrassment ran down my spine, like icy water. This is what I like to think of as a definite “Oh Crap” moment, which all fathers feel around their kids when they say or do something stupid. Reflexively I cringed, certain that my son must be thinking that his Old Man falls into the “Dirty” category. Without so much as a second’s hesitation, the boy responded to my rhetorical, albeit careless, question. Much to my surprise, I was not recriminated, nor did a fake-gagging sound come from then other side of the room. Instead, he replied and his response floored me. “Kate Upton,” he answered, with a whispered hint of breathless admiration in his voice. What was this? My quiet, shy, brainy boy knew who the buxom blonde was? I didn’t know who she was, but he did! I quickly saw an opportunity to have a little fun. “Who is she, son?” I asked innocently, fighting to contain myself and keep a straight face. He must have realized that his own filter failed him too. His eyes snapped from the TV over to me and back again, without so much as an inch of motion from his head. A quickly-concealed look of dawning horror rippled across his eyes for just a fraction of a second. My boy was having his own “oh crap” moment, as teenaged boys often do when they realize they have made an embarrassing and, possibly, incriminating statement in front of a parent. With the reflexes of a feral cat, the boy recovered and attempted to dodge the daddy-trap that I had put down in his path. “Her?” he answer innocently, his cheeks turning red. “Uh…I think she is supposed to be some kind of super-famous, swimsuit model… or something like that. I think. I mean…I don’t know. That might be someone else. Did I say Kate Upton? I may be wrong…” I said nothing, but felt strangely conflicted for a moment. With a tiny bit of regret, I realized my son was not a little boy anymore. At the same time, with a tiny bit of pride, I realized my son was not a little boy anymore. I looked at him again and saw him looking straight ahead, his filter firmly back in place. I kept a straight, uninterested face but my laughter was roaring, just below the surface “I think she is supposed to be some kind of super-famous, swimsuit model… or something like that” Ha-ha-ha!!! Pull my other leg, son and it plays Jingle Bells! (Atta boy.)
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 06:13:15 +0000
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