THE JEWISH CONCEPT OF TZNIUT (PRIVACY) {especially relevant in the Facebook era} [Long, but worth the read to the very bottom] By Rabbi Zev Spitz of the BAYT... Drasha in Review (last weeks Torah portion of Vayechi) Realizing he’s about to die, Yaakov gives his grandchildren, the sons of Yosef, Ephraim & Menashe, the following bracha: “May Hashem bless the lads. May the lads carry my name, my fathers name and my grandfathers name. May they proliferate abundantly like fish within the land.” Have you ever wondered why Yaakov chose fish? If Yaakov is blessing them to be fruitful and multiply, which is definitely the bracha at its most literal level, why like fish? Yes, fish have large families. But so do frogs. And besides, it didn’t need to be an animal. Yaakov could have blessed them to be as numerous as the stars in the sky or sand on the earth, as Hashem himself had blessed Avraham & Yitzchak. One interesting possibility as to “why fish” is that kosher fish are unique amongst kosher animals. Most kosher animals, even if they possess the kosher signs, split hooves, chew their cud, can easily become non-kosher. A cow, for example, may be a kosher animal. But if it is slaughtered improperly or dies without shechita or is found to have certain internal blemishes after slaughtering, it can not be eaten. Kosher fish, on the other hand- once they posses the kosher signs, nothing besides external non kosher food or utensils can make them non kosher. They don’t need to be slaughtered, they can be eaten if they die on their own, and they don’t need to be checked for internal blemishes. Simply put- fish are “once kosher always kosher”. And Yaakov is blessing his grandchildren, therefore, that they should always be like fish. That they should always keep their kosher, pure status. Theres another possibility, something much deeper, as to why Yaakov blesses his grandchildren to multiply specifically like fish. Rashi says “why fish”? Because “ein ayin hara sholetet ahem”- they are not affected by the evil eye. What does that mean? What is this evil eye and why are fish not affected by it? Most of us understand ayin hara, the evil eye, as a sort of jinx. “Don’t give me an ayin hara” or “bli ayin hara”- which means “I don’t want a jinx”. Things are looking good and I hope they stay that way. But think about it for a second. What does an evil eye have to do with jinx? The Gemara in Berachos (20a) tells us that Rebbe Yochanan used to sit at the gates of the women’s mikva. When the Rabbis asked him why he does so, he said that seeing my beauty when coming out of the mikva results in these woman having children as handsome as I am. The Rabbis then asked him, are you not afraid of ayin hara, the evil eye? What were the Rabbis referring to? What evil eye would come from Rebbe Yochanan flaunting his beauty? The Maharal MiPraugue, who lived in the late 16th century, explains that ayin hara, the evil eye, is a spiritual force that is engendered by jealous attention. When I make you jealous of something I have, this spiritual force causes me to suffer as a result. The Rabbis were concerned that although it was definitely leshem shamayim, Rebbe Yochanan, by flaunting his beauty, would make the Jewish women jealous. And the spiritual force engendered by this jealous attention would cause Rebbe Yochanan to suffer as a result. How does this work? How does ayin hara, the evil eye, cause me, the receiver of the ayin hara, to suffer? Because if others are jealous of something that I have, I arouse a divine judgment against myself. I cause HKBH to reevaluate my fitness for all the blessings that HE has given me. Rav Eliyahu Dessler, the author of the masterpiece Michtav M’Eliyahu, who passed away in 1953, asks a very fair and striking question. Where is the justice here? Why do I suffer when others are jealous of me? That doesn’t seem very fair. Rav Dessler gives a very powerful answer. You know why I suffer when others are jealous of me? You know why HKBH reevaluates my fitness for all of the blessing he has given me? “Mipnei shehu garam.” Because not always, but many times, we bring the jealousy, the ayin hara, the evil eye, of others, upon ourselves. How? By living life out in the open. By making our whole lives public. By showing and telling anyone and everyone who will listen, anything and everything that we do. And when we do that, we make those who don’t have what we have, who can’t do what we do, jealous of us. And that jealousy, that ayin hara, that evil eye, which many times we’ve ultimately brought upon ourselves, arouses a divine judgment against us. Why do I suffer when others are jealous of me? Because most of the time I’m the cause of that very jealousy. Why are fish not affected by the evil eye? Very simple, says the Gemara in Berachos. Because the waters cover them. They live in a world where human beings, for the most part, don’t see them. A world where human eyes don’t get jealous of them and therefore don’t cause this spiritual force to come upon them. That’s Yaakov’s message to his grandchildren. May you be protected from the ayin hara, the evil eye, of others. And the way to do so is to be like fish, living life “under water”, keeping your lives private. Not showing and telling anyone and everyone who will listen, anything and everything that you do. One of the most misunderstood words in the Hebrew language is tznius, often translated as modesty. Tznius is a concept highly valued in traditional Judaism, not only as an ideal for women to strive for, but for men as well. It is lauded as a most noble virtue. As the Rabbis tells us, there is nothing more beautiful than tznius. One of the first times the word tznius is mentioned in Rabbinic literature is in the Medrash Tanchuma on Parshat Ki Tisah. The Medrash says that the giving of the first luchos to the Jewish people took place with elaborate fanfare. It was very public. Thunder, lightning. The whole world was watching. And as a result, these first luchos were susceptible to ayin hara, the evil eye, the jealousy and ill wishes of others. Which ultimately resulted in the golden calf and the breaking of these very luchos. The second luchos, however, the ones that endured and survived, the ones that protected our people for a very long time, were the ones that Hashem gave Moshe privately. And because they were given quietly, under the radar, they were protected from the negative aspirations of the other nations who were not watching. And it’s by the second set of luchos, the private ceremony luchos, that HKBH says “there is nothing more beautiful than tznius The word tznius, therefore, does not mean modesty. It doesn’t mean wearing certain clothing or saying certain things. The word tznius means privacy. Simply put- tznius is keeping private what should be private. The Gemara tells us a fundamental rule. “Ein ha’beracha sharuy elah b’davar ha’samuy min ha’ayin. Blessing only comes to that which is private and protected from the public eye. We live in a very public world. A world of Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Instagram, to name a few. A world that encourages self-expression, self-promotion and the public sharing of every thought, idea, desire, experience and pictures that we have. It’s ok to share appropriately. But tznius demands that we have boundaries and that we maintain a healthy sense of privacy. Not every picture needs to be posted. Not every trip needs to be flaunted. Not everything and anything that we do needs to be public to the entire world, or even to our entire inner world. Just like we lock up items in a vault or a safety deposit box, most of our thoughts, actions and pictures should be locked up, unexposed to the public world. By living our lives with tznius, under water like fish, quietly like the second luchos, we will be protected from the ayin hara, the jealousy of others. And by doing so, we will continue to be showered with the all the wonderful blessings that HKBH constantly provides us.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 23:30:25 +0000
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