THE PARADOX OF RELATIONSHIP ~ AND ITS RESOLUTION. Life is infinite: Boundless in expression and yet undeniably One. Yet wow, the argument we just had with our wife, lover, friend, or a stranger sure felt like there were "two." What do we do with oneness while in the challenges of relationships and appearing "otherness." A paradox? Do we relate from this so called "oneness" or "twoness"? Neither. Both are concepts of the mind. I invite you instead to explore staying present with what is going on in your own direct experience. Starkly naked in your awareness of what is happening in you. Bring your attention from the "other" to yourself. Life is happening in and as you - just as it is happening in and as the person you are with. One life - appearing as two. The habit of the mind is to search for meaning, cause and effect, blame, "they did this to me", etc. We love to act powerless and victimized. It is an addiction. And it perpetuates the concept of separation which is the actual suffering, not what is happening in life. Separation is the agony because it is not the truth and luckily that pain is our message from deep within: "This feeling of separation is a lie and it hurts." So shall we "try" to "feel oneness"? This is impossible. It is like the sky saying, "Okay, I am going to try to feel spacious." Oneness is. Space is. Though the mind has thoughts otherwise, luckily those thoughts are not ultimate reality, but simply the transient clouds coming and going. A teacher I have known of for 25 years, Lester Levenson, once said it clearly, "You can never become what you are. You can only let go of (or see through) what you are not." In this way, your infinite nature is revealed like when forest mist dissolves in the morning sun ~ causing a pristine and refreshing clarity to be known. Thus, during the argument with your wife, lover, or a stranger, notice what arises in you, share from your heart, not as a victim of the other, simply as a moment of experience, shared, without needing them to change, or to fix you, or be different. Trust me, I know this seems easier said than done, but why are we on this planet at all, but to wake up to what is true. Our experience is felt, this is true in that moment. If it is appropriate, share it, not as blame, but as your journey of awakening. In truth, EVERYTHING you say about another reflects how you feel about yourself and life. BE AWARE. Explore every argument in a search for your own deepest self. This is a learning curve for us all. It is a radically new way of sharing. Approach it like a child, learning a new language. Be gentle with yourself. This awareness or self-exploration makes it less threatening to your partner because you are honoring this exploration of yourself. There is a better chance they can stay with you in it, rather than pulling away defending against your attack. An acting teacher I once had, said, "The deeper you go in your own self, the more universal you become." This is where the paradox of relationship potentially disappears. In relationship, the more you deeply explore the self, the more others can be open to you and potentially feel their own depth. It is here where oneness or loving can more easily be revealed. Depending on what is shared, the relationship may stay or change form, but that becomes less important than the profound sharing of our true Self and the recognition of our oneness with another in life. It is here where the paradox of separation or having others in our lives can appear true, and yet through this process, we can know that beneath our human appearances of individuality, in the one heart, beyond all, we are indeed and forever One.
Posted on: Sat, 14 Sep 2013 18:05:10 +0000
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