THE TUPELO BOJACKER - CONSERVATIVE MISERY INDEX OFF THE CHART Early today, it was reported that Red States experienced high-spikes in public health expenditures. Authorities say the extra cost was due to Right Wingers leaping in mass from tall buildings and bridges. Heath Officials believe the wide-spread depression is apparently related to the Presidents optimistic State of the Union speech on Tuesday night that elevated the index of misery. The Conservative Misery Index is a scientific correlation between Barack Obamas optimistic words compared to the sense of well being among TEA-Party wackos. According to yesterdays CNN / WSJ favorability poll, 72% of Americans sampled indicated high-positives over Obamas vision of the future. However, across the Red State Nation, agitated moods surfaced on reddened Conservative faces like pimples on a punk. After Obamas historic State of the Union speech, Bojack Reporters observed that many dour-talking Republicans quickly exited the House Chamber, fearing photographs with the President. In a related note, it was reported that the Alabama National Guard was ordered to guard all bridges against potential self-destructive behavior from those who suffer from Obamaphrenia.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 23:15:26 +0000
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