THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, dont worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. Its easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving. Youre very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when theyre going to go off. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 16:59:05 +0000
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