THIS IS HOW A LUO MAN INTRODUCES HIS LADY..... ’Aaah…..Sema bwana, my name is Honorable Dr. Isaac Omondi. But enough about me. By that title alone, you can tell that I am an exceptional human being…donge? Now this is my gorgeous girlfriend Irene. Apologies, I meant i-rene. The hyphen has to exist between letters I and R. That’s because she’s as sleek as an I-Phone 6. You see how her skin is as fine as my mother’s chapatti? Yes. Look but don’t touch. Do not dare leave your fingerprints on her. Not even a handshake. Omera I can’t obscure you from the truth, she’s pure eye candy. if we are tie the knot, then it must be on the sandy beaches of the Bahamas. My friend…. Her eyelids…….aiyaaiyaiyayaa…… marvelous, epic, angelic! She doesn’t blush; eye contact always. Nyathiwa that one, but she’s born taoooo. I have noticed that ypu are admiring her spectacles. They are imported from the same place where Tyler Perry gets his contact lenses.. When she started sitting too close to my 72 inch Samsung TV, I knew macho wake wameanza kuleta shida shida. By the way, is it true that the international hit ‘Kanungo’ is on i-tunes? I need to purchase it. I’ve been overswapping my Card of late but there’s still some little cash left on it. Around 250,000 shillings. That amount can push me and I-rene through the weekend. I am thinking of taking her to Lepalanka restaurant for lunch then we board a Jambo Jet to Mombasa. Anyway, as I was saying……oh! Omera! Wait first. I forgot to tell you about her doctorate. SheI got it from The Massachusetts College in Alabama. One of the first ever ISO certified colleges. She graduated top of the class. Barrack, the president had promised to attend her honoring ceremony but unfortunately due to pressing CIA matter, he couldn’t make it. He did send a secret service agent to convey his apologies. I forgave him. No big deal. Oh! Where was i? Yes, Kanungo. That track is a hit. Wachana na kina ati sijui kina Wizkid.. Hawajui ngoma bwana hao watu. Kutwaka twaka tu ndio wanajua. I need to have Kanungo on my I-pod. I’m not sure whether I have it on my Macbook. I’ll check. I left it on my Mercedes S-class- on the rear comfy seat to be precise. This beby of mine is the best I tell you. I even bought her a 6 bedroom mansion in Karen. The atmosphere there is serene. Yawa…..It’s superb I tell you. And she’s full of amazing ideas. She was even suggesting that I we combine our portfolios then prurchase Gor Mahia football club….eeh. k’ogallo the mighty. We can then transform it into a limited liability company so that the club gets more money like Real Madrid. That way, some money hungry players won’t rush to Qatar to suffer just because of a few Arab coins. Wanaenda tu huko kuchomwa na jua bwanaaaa. Hata hakuna mpira. When Messi ages to 40 years like Giggs, we can buy him too. Ama vipi my friend? Anyway. tell me about you. I’m aware I’ve told you so little but speak first then I shall continue. Sawa sawa?”
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 08:50:34 +0000
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