TIPS FOR COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE We all come across difficult people at some point in our lives and dont always know how to deal with them, especially in a confrontational situation. Hopefully, the following information can provide a little knowledge or insight in such a situation. * Dont try to change the difficult person: Generally, difficult people have well-established behaviour patterns and change will only come if they take accountability for it. You can point out undesirable behaviour, but it is not your responsibility to change it. * Dont take it personally: Their behaviour reflects where they are personally, not anything you might have said or done. When you see an explosive reaction to a minor situation, you can be sure the person is experiencing strong underlying emotions eg they may be tired, ill, etc. * Set boundaries: Let the difficult person know youll respect him/her but you expect the same in return. Dont tolerate yelling or heated conversation in public places. If necessary, tell the person you need to remove yourself from the situation, or wait until the person is able to have a discussion without an angry reaction. *Acknowledge the persons feelings: You may not agree with the persons viewpoint, but acknowledge that he/she appears angry or unhappy. With a chronic complainer, youll need to move from the complaint to problem solving. * Try empathy: Recognise that it must be difficult to be stuck in a place of negativity or anger. Empathy can sometimes help deescalate an explosive situation. Difficult people sometimes just want to be heard but dont know how to communicate in an appropriate way. * Hold your ground: Teach others how to treat you. Dont open the door to challenge. With snipers, you may need to expose their behaviour publicly to other team members. * Use fewer words: With difficult people, less conversation may be more effective. Use short, concise sentences to drive your point home, and set a time limit on how long youll engage in the discussion. Avoid using the word attitude because the person will view this as subjective. Instead, focus on the behaviour. Although these tips arent guaranteed to work every time, youll find them helpful in many situations. Remember - in the end the only behaviour you can truly control, is your own. From life coach and speaker Stephanie Staples,W University of Phoenix, College of Health Sciences and Nursing.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Oct 2013 21:35:41 +0000
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