TOPIC: From state of mind to status of relationship, everything is worth a post on social media platforms. But are we all equipped to deal with being judged, as much as we smile at the likes, asks Haimanti Mukherjee. Whats on your mind? As Facebook started asking this question a while ago, timelines flooded with updates from users. From amusing ones (That hot dude from last nights party) to mildly-annoyed voices (Why does FB want to know whats on my mind?) to infuriating ones (Im incensed, happy now?), the social media platform was flooded with remarks displaying the varying moods of its users. What possibly escaped our attention is that with its cleverly-put question, this online sharing network managed to get the exact answers it was looking for. Whether angry, irritated or happy, most of us did share what was on our minds. Thats the canny power of social media. It isnt easy to escape, whatever our feelings are about it. Actress and author Suchitra Krishnamoorthi, whos quite active on social networking sites, says why she loves sharing, Our lives are so busy, we hardly meet people we can have a heart-to-heart with on a daily basis. I think all of us have thoughts that are sometimes about to detonate in our minds. And it feels good to share them. You feel lighter. Conventional wisdom too tells us that sharing only unburdens us and lessens our pain. However 21st century virtual space sharing has a whole new meaning. From what we had for breakfast, to who weve just broken up with, to the colour of our lingerie, everything is worth a share. Music director Gaurav Dagaonkar says, Making relationships public is fine but there has to be a limit. I have come across many intimate pictures of friends online, in the bedroom or pictures of their honeymoon. Its like allowing someone to enter your bedroom. Why is distinguishing whats private and whats public becoming so difficult for us? Social commentator and adman Santosh Desai says, What we earlier used to mutter to ourselves, is what we put out in the online space for everyone to see these days. Our thoughts are getting cramped in 140 characters (like on Twitter) yet our emotions are amplified, over-calculated and stored forever. Its like this... what you thought at one point of time, possibly when you werent being yourself, is being stored forever. The person reading that post even a year later, judges you on the basis of that comment. You can push a thought out of your mind, but nothing is deleted from the virtual space forever. Are we all equipped to deal with being judged or made fun of on an open platform, just as much as we like to be appreciated? Says behavioural expert, Pria Warrick, No. In fact, senselessly uploading every emotion that goes through your mind (Im sad, Im excited or I had a break-up), will make you feel worse. Its like talking to everyone apart from the one person you need to talk to. If youve fought with your boyfriend, why should Twitter need to know? The people you are reaching out to will start making stories in their head about you, and the person you are trying to make feel bad, wont actually feel bad. It will make matters worse. Relationship expert Dr Nisha Khanna says, Most relationship updates on social media show individuals are unable to control their feelings. They are looking for an outlet to vent. But the social media is not the place to do it. It wont make you feel good. Sometimes, its also a cry for help or support; at others, its pure vitriol out of feelings like anger, betrayal, pain. Thats mainly done to show the partner and make him or her feel guilty so that he repents. What people dont understand is that in that process, they are making themselves very vulnerable. Model and actor Flora Saini tells us what she would share on a social networking platform and what she wouldnt. Engagements and weddings can be public because you would want to announce them to the world. Also, a lot of people can be a part of your happiness. I think PDA is fine too but when relationships hit a rough spot, the real trouble begins. Break-ups should be handled with more care and respect for the special moments you once shared. We are an attentionseeking species. Our achievements and happiness would mean very little unless weve seen them reflected in other peoples eyes. Hence the culture of sharing has grown from strength to strength. Internet activist Eli Pariser believes that people are losing their real selves to the internet profiles they have created. The internet allows us to create a persona of ourselves in which we can interact with one another without actually having to interact. So we are free to interact, yet abuse, which you probably wont do in real life, at least on a daily basis. Were also being able to edit and retouch ourselves to appear just right, rather than who we really are. However, as much as we can control our profile, we cannot dictate or edit what others say or feel about us, our posts or comments. You may block strangers, but what happens when s o m e o n e within your friend circle posts a caustic remark? Says actor Arif Zakaria about the culture of indiscriminate over-sharing, As we now live in an age of utmost transparency and probity, social media platforms have become the new gods of worship and are our conscience. If you live by it, you will die by it. Personally, I derive sadistic pleasure when people reveal everything on social media. We all do it, dont we? Didnt we crack jokes, tweet, retweet amusing comments the day the Sunanda Pushkar-Shashi Tharoor-Mehr Tarar scandal broke? Till we are the ones dealing with the nastiness, the seamless flow of entertainment through others lives, seems like the perfect panacea for boredom and monotony. The schadenfreude derived out of the lives of others is just too hard to pass. Says Zakaria, There is no limit to selfexpression these days. Hence our censors too need to be inbuilt. Easily said. Can be easily done too. Question is, do we want to? Superstar Shah Rukh Khan quit Twitter last January after a controversy broke over an article written by him in a prominent magazine about Being a Khan, though he has rejoined the micro-blogging site; director Anurag Kashyap quit the platform after drawing heavy criticism over his wholehearted support for The Lunchbox, as a better Oscar contender than the Gujarati film The Good Road; actress Megan Fox left the micro-blogging site just a week after joining, when she became the victim of an online death hoax; even the most Twitter-savvy of all, Ashton Kutcher (with a whopping 8 million-plus followers!) decided to wash his hands off personal tweets and left his account to be managed by his PR firm, after a controversial tweet of him, defending an ousted college football coach, drew negative comments. WHAT SHOULDNT BE SHARED ONLINE: Future plans. If they dont work out to be exactly as you wished, it leads to stress. Nothing related to personal and private moments - especially sad ones - like a break-up. Such issues are best shared with people who are close to you, people who meet face-to-face. No private or intimate pictures. There are all kinds of people out there. Online accounts can be hacked into. By sharing something personal with too many people, you are making your private life open to be interpreted by others. No emotional content after a fight or argument with your partner. What comes to your mind in a fit of anger may not be the thought that stays with you tomorrow. Also, washing your dirty linen in public adds entertainment to others lives and makes you feel more miserable, because you cant take back those words. No comments about how your partner is in bed. People wont laugh at your partner. They will laugh at your utter lack of respect for privacy. — Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship expert CONCLUSION: Make sure you dont share all your personal, there has to be some privacy between you and social media.....
Posted on: Sun, 02 Feb 2014 11:03:17 +0000
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