Thank you all, for your capacity for empathy and compassion. I need to be reminded often of our extended family and community. Within an hour from the start of Marleys post-op hemorrhage, he was in the hands of Dr. Levines, head and neck surgeon, Johnny on the spot, life saver, so interesting to be on this end of thank you doctor. My anxiety was gone the moment Marleys artery-gone-wild was taken down. Although my few minutes of stress were short lived, I was left with the lingering memory of the torrid of multilevel processing that my razored mind leaps to. Not only related to the circumstances of the event, but from the charged emotions associated with the loss of a child (or any loved one) and seeing in that moment, in that thought, not only the ineffable depth of that connection, but also the vast and dark void that seemed ready to fill that space and extinguish my happiness. Thinking of him yes, still also thinking of myself. Even in the throws of al-truism, the ego lives, I am forced to admit. As for Marley, who suffered, not the contemplation of an ego death, but of loosing his life, flowing like a red river, is likely though free of any psychic sequelae. His blood work came back today (hgb = 10), he lost approximately a third of his blood volume. An educated guess would suggest that he could have remained conscious for probably another hour or so at that rate. breath deep everyone, love and laugh.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Apr 2014 07:01:43 +0000
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