The Islamic Marriage بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم 5 points to explain Islamic philosophy and structure of conducting a marriage: 1. Nikaah conducted in Masjid: Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Proclaim marriage and solemnize it in the Masjid and beat duffs over it .” [Tirmidhi] This hadith informs us of three Sunnahs of an Islamic wedding: 1) To make a public announcement. Islamic weddings are not done in secret or kept secret. Sinful deeds need to be kept hidden from people’s knowledge. 2) To have the Nikah in a Masjid. It is more respectable to go to the Masjid than to call the Imam to your house. If someone is important do you go to them or do you tell them to come to you? 3) To celebrate using the Duff. The Duff is a particular type of tambourine without jingles on the side. Moral songs may be sung by underage girls. This should not be taken as a license for musical programs or singing seductive and vulgar songs with musical instruments and certainly not infront of males. Other than the above and the walima, all that we have in the way of conducting and celebrating weddings is not a part of the culture of the people of Jannah. Multiple events, mehndi, gana, mayoun, dance, bhangra, many feasts, expensive outfits, mixed gatherings, displays of wealth, huge dowries, video and camera coverage and countless other innovations, are all obedience of the Shaitaan. Only your enemy would want you to forget that you are in the middle of taking a critical exam. If in the middle of a final year exam you stopped working on your paper and instead started changing from one dress into another, started choreographing dances and arranging parties, who would think you to be in your right mind? But this is exactly what Shaitaan invites us to do. He wants us to forget that we are taking the qualifying exams for Jannah. When we begin to obey him we become heedless of the exam called “life.” The Shaitaan is destined for Hell and swore that he would do his best to take as many of humankind as he could with him. NIKAH IN MASJID This hadith lays the first principle that the nikah should take place in a Masjid. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam (peace be upon him) has made it clear to us as to how it should be carried out, then what stops any Muslim from conducting a nikaah in masjid. Christians, until this day, honor their churches and priests by getting married in churches regardless of the status of the couple getting married. Whereas in our culture, the Imam goes to the place where the Nikah takes place and has no say whatsoever even if the ceremony gets delayed. Obviously, since Islam requires Pardah, women or the bride will not come in front of the men, instead the bride’s wakil will take the bride’s permission in front of two witnesses, inform that to the imam and the nikah ceremony would be conducted. 2. No food serving at the time of Nikaah: Anything which isn’t proved from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam (peace be upon him) and becomes a tradition amongst people surely would have come from outside i.e. non Muslims. One such example is that of serving food on the day of the Nikaah. No such ceremony took place at the Nikaah of Hazrat Fatimah (radhi Allah unhu) and Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). If it was that important the Prophet ((peace be upon him)) would have arranged for it or at least mentioned its importance to people verbally, but he (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) didn’t. Why do people serve food on this day? Is it, that we consider it as a good deed? If it was a good deed, then surely Allah would have informed us through His Messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam ((peace be upon him) ). What do we try to prove by serving food on the day of Nikaah? Is it not transgression from the teachings of Allah and His Prophet ((peace be upon him) )? To serve food at this day, if it was that important He would have. It is about time we get rid of these traditions. 3. Conducting walima and its responsibility on the Groom: There is only one type of wedding-feast and that is walima and its importance reaffirms that if nikaah-feast was that important it would have been mentioned and performed just like the walima by the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam((peace be upon him) ). Below are hadith in regards to walima: -Perform a walima, even if it is only with a goat. (Sahih Bukhari Hadith No.4872) - -The worst food is that of a wedding banquet (walima) to which only the rich are invited whilst the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam ((peace be upon him) ). (Sahih Bukhara Hadith No.4882) -If one of you is invited to a wedding banquet (walima), then he must accept the invitation. (Sahih Bukhari Hadith No.4875) Above mentioned ahadith not only show the importance of conducting a walima but also the significance of attending it, if invited. Therefore, the walima should take place, effort should be made to attend it as well. Ponder over the role of a husband in society, Islam challenges and demands the man to provide bread and butter for his family. Now it is the husband’s house which is welcoming the new wife, it is the husband and his family who are so much delighted at his wedding. Is it not commendable to expect the husband to arrange the walima and bear all expenses of the wedding banquet ? All this puts an end for the need of a ceremony like Baraat. It is not mentioned in Quran and there is no such word in Arabic vocabulary. Hazrat Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) was accompanied by a few women to Hazrat Ali’s house . There was no baraat for the leader of Women in Jannah, then are our daughters and sisters more special that we shall conduct such a baseless and money wasting function for them? 4. No concept of Dowry in Islam: Giving dowry is a Hindu custom. Hindus giving dowry makes sense as their women do not get any share from the estate of their relatives; therefore giving dowry at marriage makes sure that she gets at least something from her parents in her life. But since Islam grants women a share from inheritance, therefore, there is no such need of dowry in Islam. Instead Islam orders a husband to pay his wife Haq Mahr. Now consider the marriage of Hazrat Ali (radhi Allah unhu) and Hazrat Fatimah (radhi Allah unha). Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam ((peace be upon him) ) asked Hazrat Ali (ra) if he had anything to give as Mahr, Ali replied in negative. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam asked for the armour that Hadhrat Ali (ra) owned, Hazrat Ali (ra) said that it was for battle, but the Prophet (saw) asked him to sell it and get money for it. On his way, Hazrat Ali (ra) met Usman (radhi Allah unhu) who happily purchased the armour and gave Hazrat Ali (ra) the cash. (That armour was gifted back to Ali (ra) by Usman (ra) after sometime.) . Hazrat Ali (ra) came back and handed over the cash to Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). He sent some money inside asking the women to get Hazrat Fatima (ra) ready. Besides that a fibre mattress of date tree, two pillows of date tree, manually operated grinding mill stone, one leather water bag and a few other utensils were purchased from some of the money and that was it. Not even a single penny of Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam ((peace be upon him) ) was used in it. One of the other daughters of Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was married to Hazrat Usman (ra) in Medina but no mention has ever been made of any such arrangement by Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) like in the case of Hazrat Fatimah (ra) as Hazrat Usman (radhi Allah unhu) was quite affluent and his house must have had all the necessary items whereas Hazrat Ali (ra) was poor. Why have we made this depressing custom a norm in our society because of which God knows, how many girls committed suicide as they couldn’t get married due to their parents not providing the dowry requests by the to be in-laws. Why can’t we simply get rid of this tradition and make easy the lives of millions? 5. Marriage should be made easy while Zina difficult: Cultural and non-Islamic traditions has made marriage a gruesome task. Parents think it is necessary to prepare for the wedding, arrange funds for it, make sure the relatives and in-laws are happy and that leads to delay in the marriage of so many. The state of young men is already appalling these days, thanks to the vulgarity promoted by Internet and Satellite TV. So it is up to us to inform people of the real and simple approach to marriage by Islam and to fulfill the criteria of Islamic marriage by implementing it in our lives. A time shall come when our own daughters or sisters will have to get married and we might end up facing the same dilemma. Holy Prophet’s Sunnah is the way of light . May Allah have mercy on us and help us understand and act upon the teachings of Quran and Sunnat ( Ameen ya Rahman ya Hakeem). Ya Allah Ya Arhamar Rahimeen Ya Rabbul Alameen I turn to you and beg you to grant me and (all the readers of this post), a spouse who will lead us to Jannah, and may we live with our spouses in this world and in Jannah with peace, happiness, and tranquility , and may we help each other to achieve your love and consent , Ya Mujeebu grants us pious , righteous children , Yah Wadud help us to worship you and remember you in the bestest manner Ameen Abu Hurairah narrates from Rasool-Allah , “In the court of Allah, there is no greater thing than duaa” (Ibn-e-Majah) Taken from the internet. Written by a brother.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:19:58 +0000
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