The Lady I Didn’t Need To Struggle To Marry by Tekena Ikoko (PART THREE) She had said she won’t marry me. She must be joking. So, I went to her house to ask her again and she looked squarely into my face and with her usual smile, she said, “NO!” – The second time. I don’t know how I got home that day. I sat on my bed confused. I was sure God told me to marry her. So why was God preaching a new gospel now? Where did I miss it? Tekena, I said, YES, go ahead and propose to her. I didnt say Yes, you will marry her. If I had told you not to marry her, would you have believed? I had learnt to hear from God quite early in my Christian walk. Sometimes, He would speak through visions and open trances, but the most frequent was when He spoke by his word, the Bible and with the small still voice that would encompass me with peace and comfort. ‘Why would you say that, Lord,’ I summoned up courage to ask. And His words echoed again within me. It was certainly his voice. ‘Tekena, if I had told you not to marry her, would you have believed?’ But this time around, pictures filled my mind. It was a like slow-motion film of my life. The movie rolled back to the beginning and I recalled how I met her. As the still pictures filled my mind, I saw learned the following: 1. We had moved from casual friends, to close friends, to intimate friends without any defined direction or goal. Our first meeting was circumstantial, but why did I keep invading her space when I had no clear purpose for her. 2. I had drunk in her person, her likes and got very emotional with her, without taking the time to know who she really was. 3. I saw that I had not recovered from my earlier heartbreak. I was simply looking for a substitute to fill my pains and loneliness. 4. I wanted her in my life solely because she made me feel good, but I had no plans of who I was going to be in her life. I was a parasite. 5. I looked closely at my heart. I had already idolized her. I was only going to use her to make myself happy. Marriage was to be fun, but I had no plans of how to handle the demands that comes with bringing another human being into your space and into your life. She was my idol and had gotten an answer according to the idol in my heart. Then, I remembered Ezekiel 14: 3-4 Tekena, if I had told you not to marry her, would you have believed? I was exposed instantly. She was my hero even before I asked the Lord. I had already made up my mind to marry her. Prayer concerning her was actually a formality. She had stolen my heart. I would have rejected any other answer. (I advise all to read my novel, WHAT THE RABBIT THE NOT KNOW, a warning to all who will someday fall in love.) Then it dawned on me. If God had said, No, I would have called it the voice of the devil. I would have cancelled it with some loud prayer and countless blood of Jesus. But why did I seem to get a green light? “I knew that as you went along, your VALUES would confront you and then, you would come to yourself.” Learning Point: Only Heaven knows how much money I had spent around this lady. Money that I didnt even have. I had made endless sacrifices in the name of love. I would do anything just to hear her voice and be with her. LOSS OF VALUES IN THE NAME OF LOVE, IS ACTUALLY LUST. Learning Point Two: Do you have a working relationship with God? Has relationship disconnected you from the throne of grace. Do you know how God speaks to you? Imagine lost I would have been if I didnt know how God speaks to me? Spiritual Maturity is not optional for the child of the Most High God. You have an Eternal Shepherd that leads, learn to follow him. Learning Point Three: Letting her go, was not easy as this post may sound. I was a broken man. I hated women, but actually, I hated myself. I wish someone had stopped me before this time and explained to me the clear difference between love and lust. I dont want you to make the same mistake I made. And its more that saying a big Amen to some prayer. Today, Single But Not Stupid Awareness Campaign has decided to upload our most listened audio CD, The 12 TESTS OF LOVE: How do I know Im in love or Infatuation. You can download this audio completely FREE, at reverbnation/singlebutnotstupidsbns DECLARATION: O God, Life is time. Wasting our time is a fruitless relationship is a waste of life. We grant you total permission to teach us the true meaning of love. Hollywood and Nollywood has confused and corrupted our definition of love. But O Heavenly Father, you are the beginning and the end of love. You are love. As we listen to this 12 tests of love, open our hearts to embrace it afresh, and lead us by your Spirit, in Jesus name... …watch out for part four….
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 07:06:31 +0000
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