The Oscars combine one of the things I love most in the world, and one of the things I care least about: Movies and the opinions of strangers, respectively. To rectify this, I present The Gilbert Tanner Excellence in Movie Awards, over the next four days. Rules: 1. Nominations don’t have to also correlate with Oscars. Iron Man 3 is on here A LOT. 2. If you are badass, you get extra points for acting. (Idris Elba gets nominated every year.) 3. If you make me laugh, you get extra points for acting. (So does Melissa McCarthy.) 4. I didn’t see Twelve Years a Slave. It didn’t play at the theater I work at, and it’s not at Redbox yet. I will watch it soon, but not before Sunday. I hear it’s great, and will rectify my choices afterwards if I like it. 5. I can make up categories. Day One: Technical Awards and other things Fight Choreography/Battles: The Hobbit Desolation of Smaug, for the barrel scene making me feel like a kid again. Cinematography: Iron Man 3, for the skydiving scene shot with minimal greenscreen. Visual Effects: Gravity, for making me feel like I was in space. Animated Short Film: Probably whatever Pixar made? I don’t know. Animated Feature Film: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, for not being Frozen. Costume Design: American Hustle, for this specifically: pixel.nymag/imgs/fashion/daily/2014/01/29/29-american-hustle-dry-cleaning.o.jpg/a_4x-horizontal.jpg Makeup and Hairstyling: Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa, for making Johnny Knoxville a convincing 70 year old, and making that boy a convincing looking pageant girl. Live Action Short Film: Agent Carter, from the Iron Man 3 DVD, for it is the only short film I saw. AND IT WAS GREAT. Best Documentary Short: Does anyone honestly watch these? Documentary: Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me, for making me feel more intimately close with the band and at the same time, keeping the mystery alive Foreign Language Film: The Wolverine… it had a lot of Japanese in it so it counts. Sound Mixing: The Conjuring, for making me scream in a movie theatre at the sound of a clap. Sound Editing: The World’s End for the robot noises Film Editing: Bad Grandpa for taking hours of prank footage and making it into an actually touching narrative. Production Design: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire for bringing Stefon’s nightclubs to life in the Capital Tomorrow is Music and Writing (The important ones.)
Posted on: Thu, 27 Feb 2014 23:23:01 +0000
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