The Ramirez Story Hour with your host Jay Ramirez continues today with a strange and completely true tale entitled: Holy fuk this cab driver is insane… Ive been known to embellish a little for comedic effect, I’m willing to admit that. Ask Chrispy, he knows all my stories 5 times over. But this next sequence is not embellished one bit, I swear it. This actually happened exactly like im writing and all I could do was say “yeah”, “oh” and type notes into my Note app as fast as I could. Chicago people will understand the extremely short length in which this took place as my cab fare was only $5.25. Basically I was in the cab with the dude around 4 minutes and all of this happened: Door was locked and guy was on his laptop as I tried to enter. I sit down and tell him where I’m going he says “You smell that? Carbon Monoxide. The cab company I work for is trying to kill me because they owe me money and do not want to pay. They are trying to poison me.” I replied: “yeah it smells like exhaust a little”. He then switches on a dime to the following: “The sermon at my church is wrong, I read all the transcripts and they said, he said, he, the priest said Judas Iscariot was Jesus’s beloved… They’re wrong (raising his voice now). Everyone knows Judas Iscariot was the heretic of all times, Beholding only the darkest of blasphemers. John the Beloved was Jesus’s beloved” I had no response to this, but I wanted to ask him if it helped Daniel get out of the lion’s Den and/or Gilligan get off the island. I chose to keep quiet and let this thing ride out…He went on: “I submitted a request with his holiness to question his interpretations. The transcripts are never typos. 99 thousand 9 hundred and 99 percent of the time, they are always spot on to the spoken word of our father the lord Jesus Christ. I can’t and will not tolerate this sort of treachery. You wanna take Lake or Washington? (before I could answer), Im going to take Lake, its better, Lake is better for this, were taking Lake. Lake it is then. A fraction of a moment goes by in silence and I think ‘okay I wouldnt call this completely abnormal, big city, lotta types out there, I’m cool with this’ Then he jumps in: “I have 3 birthday parties to throw this month. These friends of mine are fighting over who gets theirs first. I pay for the food and the drinks and the hall and they’re all fighting over it but no one has given me any funds to gather the necessary party favors and food. Everyone is acting like I will just pay the 10’s of thousands of dollars necessary for these parties and everyone will go home without thanking me.” I reply: “oh”. he goes on: “My aunts owe me 900 thousand dollars from my mother’s death but they are withholding it from me because they claim I am not pious. They themselves are claiming to be the pious ones and are saying that I Jacob am not. I tell you and everyone who hears me that I am the pious one and they are the wicked among us withholding my fortune.” As we pulled up to my destination I couldnt help myself, I said: “You could probably pay for those birthdays with that money huh?”. He raised his voice: “I will and can do that I tell you. There is only one name!” I opened the door and got out before he could tell me that name but I’m assuming me was going to say “Party City… the ONLY place for party supplies… Now go forth young heathen and spread the word!”. A little old Asian lady got in as I got out. I’m sure the 2 of them are still talking right now.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 19:58:22 +0000
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