The call came a few hours ago. My grandmother will be entering the hospice. I think I accepted this long ago, longer than anyone would guess. My first memories are crawling out of my crib and into my grandmothers bed as a child... I can hear her TV which was always left on, back when TVs were mostly static and many were still black and white. I remember waking up one morning, I must have been four or five and thinking hey I exist. My entire world was about five rooms in that little house, with her stalking in the kitchen full of territorial anger, her brilliant mind and acid tongue and her heart all gold or all bile depending on when you caught her. Im thinking of all the friends who are gone, the living and the dead ones, the ones who cant be reached and the ones who cant reach out. Life has been so kind to me grandma, more than I ever deserved, but I would trade it all to know you are comfortable right now...That your bed is warm and familiar, that the TV is on and that when you fall asleep that your dream will take you through to where you have to go and Im not allowed to follow. You never asked me for anything and when I realized I could never say thank you enough, that there was no paying it back I started sharing what you gave me with those who needed it more. Ill keep going grandma, I inherited my mind and my will from you and above all else my conscience. I miss you so much already.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 03:55:02 +0000
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