The eulogy I gave at Moms Funeral Mass at Saints John and Andrew in Binghamton, New York... If you knew Mom...I hope this warms your heart. If you never had the pleasure of meeting her...throw on Fleetwood Macs Landslide, sit back, relax and read on. I promise shell send down a wink and a smile... Mary E. McGuire November 7th, 1948 – August 26th, 2014 Friday, August 29th, 2014...12pm Good afternoon everyone. Heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for being here. Today we remember and celebrate the life of an incredible woman – Mary Esther McGuire. To Michael, Billy, Kim and I…she was always Mom. To her family and close friends, she was always Chicki. To her nieces and nephews, Aunt Chicki. And to her granddaughters who loved her so much…she was and forever will be “Grandma Chick”. Whether you knew her as Chicki or Mary…there was just something about her that was magnetic. If there’s one thing Michael and I heard most often about Mom growing up…and even within an hour of her passing…it always centered on just how special Mary was, to so many people. Before I share more about Mom…given the nature of her quick and untimely passing…it’s so important to pause for a moment to say thank you to a number of remarkable people. First and foremost, on behalf of my brother and my entire family….I want to thank Monsignor Meagher, Mary Ellen McGory, and the entire ministry staff here at Saints John and Andrew’s Church… Your love and support during this time of grieving is so appreciated…words simply cannot express. For Mom to be remembered here…in this Holy and special place…it’s so right and fitting. Thank you. To Bill McCormick, our family’s funeral director…and to his sons…I can’t begin to thank you enough for your support through this incredibly difficult time. Bill, you are a true Irishman…and one of the kindest and most genuine gentlemen I’ve ever met. Thank you for your most tender caretaking of our mother, sister, Aunt and friend Mary. She thought the world of you. Since being admitted to the hospital on August 7th...to when she passed on Tuesday night…Mom was surrounded by literally dozens of medical professionals across multiple units over those twenty days. There were some pretty incredible people who cared for her, and out of respect and genuine thanks, Mom wanted me to thank them. To Matt Salenger and the Medical & Nursing staff at United Health Services…thank you. Mr. Salenger is the CEO of UHS and a family friend. Matt, your visit last week made Mom feel like a Queen…and we can’t thank you enough for that. To her neurosurgeon Dr. Dan Galyon, her orthopedic surgeon Dr. Micah Lissy, her hospitalist Dr. Victoria Mirza...she cherished the three of you in particular…and appreciated everything you did, and tried to do for her. My Aunts Diane and Bunny, as well as Michael and Billy and I…would like to especially thank her ICU hospitalist – Dr. Mark Speicher. His care during Mom’s final hours simply redefined compassion. I’ve worked around medical professionals for over 20 years…and Dr. Speicher’s bedside manner...was that of an angel. Speaking of angels…Mom absolutely adored her nurses… So many to note, but those who were particularly special to Mary: Memorial 6: Jessie, Linda, Gabby, Kathryn, Lorraine, Emily, Lexi, Julie, Kate & Brenda South Tower 5: Melissa, Oksana & Megan OR Recovery: Diana & Annie Neurosurgery Step-down Unit: Lindsey, Sarah, Esther & Mike And to two special people who were by her side with us during her final hours…ICU Registered Nurses Michele Baker & Colleen Moran… We will never forget you and how you cared for Mary. God bless you, all. In such a short period of time…not surprisingly, Mom befriended all of these people I just mentioned. Throughout her life…Mom loved connecting with people and making friends. With these medical professionals especially, while she knew her condition was serious…she really just wanted to be their friend. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus said, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” She embodied that...no matter what. Mom was magnetic and focused on winning others over, even in her worst hours. There she was in the midst of her final chapter...and she just wanted to know others and be known. Mom glowed when Dr. Mirza initially cared for her at General. Dr. Mirza is of French decent…and if you know Mom at all, you know how enamored she was “wiz za French”. She said to me, “Danny, she’s so nice. She said she wants to be my friend.” And then she would imitate Dr. Mirza with a French accent. “You and me…we will be friends.” She glowed. On the third anniversary of her husband’s passing, it was her neurosurgeon Dr. Galyon that broke the news to her that she would eventually die from cancer. Mom was direct…and she liked it when doctors were direct with her. But NO ONE knew at that time just how incredibly soon that would be. Mom’s case was incredibly complicated… But after multiple doctors being confounded by her condition, Dr. G as she called him – took the helm, and Mom liked that. A SUNY Upstate graduate and Johns Hopkins trained neurosurgeon, “he’s as sharp as they come Mom”, I told her. And for the next week, wouldn’t you know it…she made it her mission to make friends with this neurosurgeon. After incredibly invasive and delicate surgery...she’d give him a hard time as he rounded every day…as only she could. And with that infectious personality, seeking to connect with him...as only she could…she’d tell us on several occasions…“I think he likes me” with a smile and a wink. Within the hour of Mom’s passing on Tuesday night…Dr. G called the unit and asked to speak with us. I took the call and he told me that he wish he could’ve done more, but the disease was just too pervasive. As we closed the brief conversation with me still in a state of shock, he told me how every year…”there’s a patient that just impacts you”, he said. “There’s just something about your Mom. She’s a special lady, Dan. She’s ‘the one’ this year…no question about it. She’s the one…” Her sisters stood by her side…and loved her through her darkest hours. Aunt Bunny…even though you never let Chicki forget those seven pretty important minutes that separated the both of you at birth….she loved and adored you as her older sister. Your bright smile and the love that overflows from your heart filled the room on Tuesday night. You were with her at birth, and you were with her as she passed. Thank you for being there for Mom. Aunt Dee Dee…you were the hands and feet of Christ to your sister. Next to Pop, you were her best friend. You were always there. Always. And she loved you more than words can express…and that unique bond you shared will be with you forever. Mary McGuire.... You surely were…one of a kind. And full of it. Man, was she ever full of it. Her whole life…and right up to the end. She was full of love…she was full of passion…and compassion. She was full of life. Everyone just wanted to hang around Chicki. Mom was born in New York City – November 7th, 1948…to Donald Waterman her father, a career New York City Cop. And to Theresa Waterman…a devout mother and Catholic who raised five “ever so unique” children. From the counters of Woolworths to the many floors of Bloomingdales…Mary’s mother worked hard, and she loved deeply. Fierce, passionate and strong…she was her father’s daughter. Loyal, tender and compassionate…Mary was her mother’s daughter as well. The seven of them together – in a small walk-up apartment on 86th Street between 2nd and 3rd in Manhattan. I can still see the punched tin in the high ceilings…and I can still smell that special place, and feel the burn in my leg walking up all those flights of stairs. Mom had two primary defenders…her two older brothers – my Uncle Donny and Uncle Tommy. Both United States Marines, both following in their father’s footsteps…with Donny retiring as a Sergeant in the NYPD...and Tommy a LT. She was SO proud of her brothers. Strongest of the strong…and bravest of the brave. She looked up to them, adored them, and followed after them too…as Mom worked for over 20 years as the Executive Liaison to the Chief of Police for The Waterfront Commission of New York and New Jersey…overseeing New York Harbor. As noted before…Mom had such a special place in her heart for her sisters – her twin, Aunt Bunny…and the baby of the family, Aunt Dianne. There is nothing…like the bond between sisters. My Mom married oh so very young…and from the love between my Mom and my Father Dan - yours truly. While they decided it would be better to part ways, Mom was determined to remain close friends with Dad. And she was. And when Dad needed a friend to lean on in his darkest times…Mom was always there for him. She would always smile and remind him…”I was the one that got away.” They loved each other dearly. But she married the love of her life…in Michael James McGuire in 1973. And from the love between those two - my one and only brother, Michael James McGuire, Jr. Mom and Pop gave us an incredible life. It was a Coast Guard life, and we got by just fine... Oh how she loved Pop. They always worked hard to give us a warm and loving home. Made sure to put us through Catholic school. Among our fondest memories…Mom and Pop would spend late nights just talking and listening to “easy listening music” in the kitchen. At bedtime they were often engrossed in conversation…and Mom would yell upstairs: “Good night Michael”. He would say “good night”. “Love”…our term of endearment. “Love” he would say. And she would do the same with me. And we’d fall asleep to some amazing music playing downstairs. The world was right. The warmest of memories, and a reflection of our family. From the utopian times we enjoyed on Governors Island to Sandy Hook, New Jersey…to a brief not so great stint in Miami, FL that we all preferred to forget…we ended up back in New York with family and back on Governors Island. Mom LOVED that place. We loved that place. From 877 to 662-D…the memories just flood. But no matter where we lived…Mom made our home the most cozy place it could possibly be. And she filled it with love…and music – SO much music… And Pledge. Our two apartments and the townhouse all smelled like a mixture of Mom’s perfume…and Pledge. No matter which of our homes you may have found yourself in…you also found yourself surrounded in cats. J She loved her cats… It wasn’t just enough to rescue us…she rescued dozens of cats over the years. From Aradea, Tiffany and Brandy…to Dorien Gray…to Kaiser…to Ramses who just caught up with her in Heaven yesterday. She LOVED her cats. If you knew Mom…you knew how much she loved music. But Mom more than enjoyed music. She drank music. It became part of her being. She played guitar. She sang…oh could she ever sing. She had such an incredible tone to her voice. But it was her passion for the lyrics beyond the melodies. She wrote songs. And she wrote stories…and more stories. She loved to write. Expression was so important to her. She overflowed with emotion and depth... And Michael and I are the benefactors of growing up in that special world she created for us, filled with love and passion for life. Mary had quite the soundtrack to her life. A devoted Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks fan…I’m not kidding when I tell you, if something ever happened to Stevie….Mary would have been her replacement. But it was Mom’s love of John Denver’s music…that brings incredible warmth and the fondest of memories to anyone who ever hung out with Chicki in any of the places she called home. I think Pop played “My Sweet Lady” for Mom every night…and for me, “Back Home Again” fills my heart to overflowing when I hear it. For Michael…they all strike a chord. From James Taylor, to Bob Seeger to Rod Stewart…to all the music my brother and I subjected her to. It was a home filled with music. And no matter who you are…when you gathered with Mom to talk (and she was a great listener to so many of us)…you can guarantee there was some music playing. And I’m sure you have a song or two that will forever remind you of her. In closing… Yes. The sadness that fills our hearts is so incredibly heavy. She departed so suddenly and so unexpectedly. But rest assured…she is at peace. On Tuesday night, those of us who were by her side reminded each other…this is not the end. And aren’t you glad. Thank you Lord for your grace… Thank you Lord for making a WAY for us. Thank you Lord for your mercy…sparing Mom from more pain and suffering. Mom would want us to smile. She would want us to feel deeply…and sing loudly. She would want us to forgive. She would want us to love one another. And as much as we will miss her…she would want us to let her go on… She told us Tuesday night, “Mike’s waiting”. I can assure you…she literally told us what direction she was heading in right before she left… Mustering all her strength…she said “I’m heading that way”…and looked over Michael’s shoulder, as if she saw it clear as day. “Heart of my heart”, Michael said through his tears as he said goodbye. That was their saying. For me, it was a smile that needed no words. We prayed together earlier, and I sure knew where she was headed. And in our hearts we could all see it. Mary McGuire…the wife of a United States Coast Guard Chief Boatswains Mate…headed down to the pier one final time to meet her Mike. She was all decked out, dressed to the nines, looking radiant beyond description. And no more pain. She didn’t say a word…she just smiled. She danced and twirled her way down the dock into the loving arms of her Savor Jesus Christ…who escorted her to meet her Mike. And as they sailed away …our Heavenly Father painted her the most beautiful sunset they’d ever seen. So whether you remember Mary McGuire when you hear a John Denver or a Stevie Nicks song…recall a special memory that was between you and Mom…or you remember her when you see a brilliant sunset…know that she loved you. Deeply. Genuinely. With all her heart. And she now asks you to live… To love. To make friends with others, and to do unto them as you would have done to you. And to never forget...... We will miss you Mom… And we will never forget you.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 02:06:17 +0000
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