The flight was a real joy to experience . I knew as soon as Id sat down next to a gnarly old london geezer and his muvva in law that I was gonna enjoy my journey . The next treat for me ( and this really was a doozy!) was that a family from Dubai sat in front of me and an Indian family sat behind me both with adorable but yet somehow hugely angry and seriously pissed off toddlers in tow. How such devastating and large screams can come from such small bodies needs to be investigated by the world of science and possibly developed for use in psychological warfare . Im now aware that if you become a parent then you naturally develop a deafness to toddler screams as neither family deemed it an importance to keep their little darlings quiet..... , bless . That did however leave me and geezer and muvva in law of said geezer in the middle of a toddler X factor stylee marathon scream off from which their was no escape . Farkin ell, give me a farkin shooota an ahl sort these little kants aht proper ! Is not language that our foreign neighbours were used to nor respond in kind too . I behaved impeccably throughout the 7 hour flight by getting through as much whiskey as the stewardesses could be bothered to bring me . Getting drunk didnt really have the desired effect of making life easier for me in fact it had exactly the opposite effect for everyone around me . The upshot is that I was drunk and giggling like a drunken fool about to have a nervous break down , London geezer was in constant sweary growl mode and was being told off by his muvva in law quiet Perry and try ignore them , you not shooting no one, Dirty looks were being thrown in our general direction by a plane full of disgruntled passengers and toddlers have the dedication and stamina of Olympic athletes .......
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 07:51:12 +0000
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