The “it’ll take you an hour” first job (took a week). “Is that our flight Martin?” “Nah, would have said on the board” “What’s that flashing” “Martin, I’m red-green colour blind” “Shit”. The Spreadletter. Des Moines and the butter cow with Matt. Watching a 60year old snog a 20year old while drinking a snakebite in Telford with Sheps. Running late on the 7th of July 2005. Toast “meetings” in the basement of Stonecutter Court. Harry’s assessment of the relative career satisfaction of audit vs everything else. 24 hours in Ibiza then “working” for Ian the next day. Powernaps in the toilets of Stonecutter Court. Management Excellence (where you’re no longer a SENIOR consultant). Komal running down the jetty at Westminster because they might leave without her (dressed as the A-Team van). The lovely lady from Epsom (who always smells amazing). Technical meetings with Asad that always ended in lunch. Graduate induction where the 6 of us from actuarial started the party. Filing the Prophet invoices in Horizon House, for a month. That terrible trip to Amsterdam in 2005. That strangely fantastic job in Amsterdam in 2012. The boozy lunch for Shaun leaving, afterwards Jan told me my wrong salary for next year (then the subsequent sober pay cut). 72 hours in Ibiza then definitely not working the next week. Mwansa; would you rather…? Manchester client entertaining where we all agreed we’d rather be in Nandos. Delaying the Life Conference in Liverpool: calm down, calm down. Dirk’s idea of the perfect woman and Marjorie’s views of Dirk’s idea of the perfect woman. Charlotte insisting that Kwang and I caught the tube leaving a half-terrified Amit. The Ski Chalet that never was. The boarders palace in Laax. My spreadsheet that became Jack’s spreadsheet that became Anu’s spreadsheet that became The Spreadsheet. Deliberately missing my connection at East Croydon on the way to Redhill, only to notice half of the client’s staff doing the same. Working on Project Dundee, Lomond, Ayr (none of which in the Highlands) and no one else seeing the irony. The Conrad hotel in Dublin. The meeting with Rachael to explain tax to David, we didn’t come off well. The winter walks in Blackrock from the most Christmassy hotel ever. Falling asleep in Blackrock because of the 5am flights and overactive heating. The “rubbish” left on my desk (Katherine). That laughing bag thing that sounded exactly like Dirk. Getting woken up by the then head of tax for snoring when studying (he’s since been promoted). Winterthur in Winterthur in the would-be strip club at the top of an office at the top of the hill. Never been as relaxed as in Mauritius, do we have enough time? Cheeky Sambucas “Networking” with Audit in Southampton. What I remember of The Office Christmas Party 2004. The disco death star. The Cartoonist and so not The Last. Passing CA1 while in the Hed Kandi party (less keen on the hangover, Rachael). The arrogance of putting “advanced” excel skills on my original graduate application. The most lovely person in the world also liking Keane. Going vegan on a rooftop overlooking the Taj Mahal in Agra. Hopping on to business class with a cut toe after the wedding in Trinny. Absinthe cocktails with Rachael marking 10 years, then “that meeting” the next day. That Halloween party. Ben Gazarra. Mikey’s padnote. Mikey’s transvestite photo. Mikey’s emails. Mikey. The skiing trip to Aberdeen and the aftermath of the EAMAYW Chinese. My desk buddy. The gossip mill in Mauritius. Sheps licking her blackberry on Bournemouth beach. The Rhinegold meeting with Estelle, Shaun, Amit, Gareth and Tamsin, still makes me smile. Roughing it in Southampton. The brits mocking the Louvan crew (they had the last laugh). Martin and Laura’s QRT catalogue in Arthur Street. Martin and Laura nearly testing the window strength in Arthur Street. Realising I was out of my depth at the client where everyone had trust-funds but then met the most normal actuary ever. Kanaloa will always just be a Walkabout for me. Man or boy? Oh Des Moines! A decade. Deloitte. Done.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 09:48:50 +0000
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