The past 3 months have reminded me how present spiritual welfare is. Every day now I am finding satan trying to bring us down. When we learned we were pregnant, Joseph and I shared with our closest friends and family about a dream Joseph was given the very night we conceived Noah. In this dream, the reference Luke 2:23 was repeated. When Joseph awoke the next morning, he looked it up and read (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”). We felt extremely blessed that our Lord spoke to us in this way. Consecrated means to be dedicated, or set apart for service to the Lord. I would daydream about how God would use my little man for his glory. Maybe he would be a missionary, or possibly a pastor. When he was born, he was simply perfect. I could just snuggle and stare at him for hours. Then we began to struggle with nursing and weight gain. We both got thrush and began treatment. I hoped this treatment would be what he needed to start thriving again. But then he started fighting feedings, and we were able to diagnose him with acid reflux. Again I hoped this would be the answer. Then he refused to eat, got dehydrated, was admitted to the hospital, and we learned he had sepsis. In only 3 days, he was gaining weight and acting perfectly happy. Again I had hope that we were finally on the right track. A day later he took a turn for the worse and we started treatment for a new infection. Noah had picked up staph and it developed into double pneumonia. Again, my heart sank and longed to have my sweet boy healthy and happy. He got well enough to leave the hospital and continue on oral antibiotics at home, and I was thrilled. Less than 24 hours later, we were back in the hospital because his pneumonia had come back with a vengeance. Needless to say, I was very leery about being discharged this time, but we made it home a week later on a myriad of medicines for my 3 month old. He lost nearly a pound due to his illness and the bag of medicine was bigger than he was. Little by little, his lungs began to sound better and his appetite picked up. I was devastated to no longer be able to nurse him but was happy to see him eating a normal amount for his age and weight. I just knew we were finally headed in the right direction. A few days later, he began fighting feedings and quit taking in as many ounces as he should. We scheduled his appointment with a pediatric gi specialist and yet again I hoped this was going to be the answer to getting him well. We began a new formula and medicine. Less than a week later noah seemed to be worse than before. I begged for a closer appointment date and got noah in a week later. We got another new medicine and a test scheduled for another possible diagnosis. As I type this now, noah is with Joseph screaming from hunger and still refusing to eat. The doctor says this next appointment should be our last, meaning we should discover the answer to his problems, but its certainly hard to believe. I realized today that I allowed satan to steal my hope. I allowed him to worry me with financial issues because of Noahs medical bills and prescriptions. I allowed him to begin tearing apart my relationship with my husband because of the constant stress and worry. But Im done giving into satans ploys. This certainly isnt what I envisioned when Joseph told me of his dream and we became pregnant, but I WILL give God the glory from every circumstance we go through. Noah is still our greatest blessing and even through the storms, we will be praising God.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 20:58:12 +0000