There are, in my opinion, far, FAR too many who incorrectly believe in the squeaky wheel gets the grease theory. And Im not sure why people thinks this works, because it doesnt. In fact more often than not, the chronic complainers are simply shown the door. No one wants these people around. They dont want them as friends. They dont want them as customers. They dont want them as employees. And they dont want them as advocates. No, what people respond to are actions. As an analogy, if one wishes to criticize Walmart for the wages it pays its employees or for its poor customer service, then by all means, vocalize that criticism but also support it with actions and dont shop there. Do not criticize Walmart and then continue to shop there because of its prices. The same thinking can be applied to our desire for family law reform and PA support. One of the members here posted a profoundly insightful meme that makes this point, and it is one that I have to constantly remind myself of applying to my own life. I believe the meme said: Dont bash what you hate, promote what you love. There are about 8 gazillion groups and pages out there all claiming to advocate for PA support and family law reform. And yet, one gets the sense that majority of these groups are less about the problem in general, and more about admins. This is why I like this group, and its the only one that I am a member of. Yes, we are all suffering. Yes we are all at different places in our healing. And yes, these environments can be safe places to vent and receive the emotional support we need. However, we can also benefit by remembering that support extends beyond recognition and validation of our problems. It also means taking personal responsibility for them and using them as an opportunity to learn and grow from within. Growth is hard, and this is why so many avoid it. It requires a certain amount of discomfort as we change how we think about things and how we respond to those thoughts. I am thankful for the way this page challenges us to grow from within. For its emphasis on personal responsibility for how we think, feel, and act. For messages that remind us that pain and discomfort are a part of life for all of us, and what really matters is how we respond the informational feedback our emotions are telling us. The majority of pages and groups out there, whether they know it or not, wish to feed your anger, to inflame it, to nurture it. I had a page and I did this because this is what people were responding to. However, I got to the point where I realized my anger was keeping me within my own prison. It was not healing, it was in fact having the opposite effect on me and others. The admins of this group want people heal, and sometimes, that means communicating things we dont necessarily want to hear. Yet, they are truthful messages. This group is a valuable resource for emotional support, and yet, these admins are working hard to make each of us more emotionally self-sufficient, because THAT is how inner-peace is achieved. So, to the admins, I say, thank you for your hard work. Thank for your patience. Thank you for taking us on. Thank you. ~ Michael
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 16:46:37 +0000
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