There is an old, outdated word, ‘hyperbolicallity’, that fits Tony Abbott’s debating style and his oratory, and I noticed it first in 1999, when he called Kim Beazley ‘the worst Defence Minister in Australia’s history’, back when he was regarded as our best; and he winked up at me from the chamber floor. He did it again yesterday. He called Rudd/Gillard/Rudd ‘the worst government in history’, out-evilling Hitler, Ivan the Terrible, Herod the Great and Ramses II, and then embraced every one of its policies except the Carbon Tax, and the schoolkids’ money, not even excluding the budget surplus bottom line. The worst government in history? Gonski, broadband, Super, NDIS and three triple-A credit ratings make it the best since Chifley, yet he thinks it worthwhile to call it worse than Stalin, Huey Long or King Zog, just as his Deputy thought a man baring his arse at a female candidate a funny thing to tell the nation. Hyperbolicallity,’liie nymphomania, is getting the proportions wrong. The worst government in history’s signature policies NDIS and Gonski we unconditionally accept; their Budget bottom line we unconditionally accept; and yet it is tye worst government in history, trust us; trust us to enact its abominable policies, we are the fresh order, doing nothing, we’re united, you can trust us. Yeah, united. We had five leaders in three years and a member, Slipper, we sacked and sought to drive to suicide. We sacked Barnaby from Finance and put in his place the chronic depressive Robb. We fought like dogs over giving rich people baby money, cursed Gonski as ‘Connski’ and then embraced it; and still want TPVs for boat people who will never get here. We’re united, all right. And we’re really trustworthy. Our leader swore a vow of celibacy, and broke it. He agreed to marry a pregnant girl then called it off, destroying her happiness, and neglected to go to her funeral. He told his lesbian sister she would burn in hell then changed his mind. He begged his three daughters to go virgin to bridebed, then changed his mind. He joined the DLP, then changed his mind. His Catholicism is Gibsonite and his most important Minister, who speaks in tongues, thinks Catholics burn in hell. Sure you can trust us. Cross my heart. They’re a worrying bunch. Like Murdoch’s other creation the Tea Party they don’t believe in anything much, just the punishment of humans and tiptoeing away with the swag. They want to give their fugitive kind, the rich, a lot of money. And they don’t join the dots very well. The polls this morning are swinging back, but very, very slowly. My recurrent, oft-voiced nightmare, that we lose by one seat, may be what happens. And we will see what we shall see.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 23:57:46 +0000
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