They told me Its okay to cry now, you dont have to be tough. No one will judge you. See when Im angry and dont express my feelings, then, and usually only then, you will see me cry. But with her, I shut down. Believe me, She meant everything to me.. If only youd know how much Id give just to say goodbye. I didnt cry. Or say what I wanted. Instead Ive been running. Since you had your first stroke June 2012, I ran. Ever since then my Sympathy side doesnt work so well. How do you move pass losing the one person who took you in when you were born. The person who raised the rebellion you were. Who cried and told you how much she loved you when you were handcuffed. No matter what I did. Good or bad. She loved me. And when it all went bad. I couldnt mourn. I couldnt let go. I just shut down. Its been creeping up on me everyday. All I want to do is just smile and keep walking. Because I find that easier than dealing with what is true.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 06:21:00 +0000
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