Things I wish I could do, but cant because they are not socially acceptable in Western culture... 1) Give besas (kiss the cheek) like many Latin countries. 2) When shaking hand: grab the wrist instead of the palm like ancient brotherhood/cult/warrior-things used to. (Roman Handshake) 3) Whenever I see a friend: greet them with a bear hug before initiating conversation. (Like Chien Po from Mulan or Josh from Drake and Josh) 4) If during conversation someone says anything that it off-color and requires a humorous way to ease the tension: rubbing their hair like Pharaoh and Moses did in Prince of Egypt as a form of endearing chastisement. 5) Whenever crossing paths with a stranger: go out of my way to make eye contact, smile, and have some witty greeting such as mornin Rather than pretend that I would rather stare off in the distance to avoid social interaction with a stranger. Honestly, I would rather look at you and smile that stare at a crack in the sidewalk. 6a) Whenever running into another pedestrian and we both side-step in the same direction to get out of each others way: stand off the sidewalk and salute them. 6b) Confront them with a rock-paper-scissors tournament to decide who gets which side. 7) When someone displays an attribute that I feel is note-worthy or commendable: Give a compliment about said trait on the spot. Specifically, give compliments without worrying that the receiver to going to misconstrue it in the worst way possible. 8) Jorts and jargos (CHECK) 9) When getting my pump on: blatantly flex the desired muscle group at a gym mirror to evaluate progress. (We all do it secretly anyway, so why not just be open about it? I mean, the lighting is perfect!) 10) Salute people instead of waving (CHECK) 11) When I catch someone who was staring at me (or blanking and just happened to be gazing in my direction): wink to ease their embarrassment. (almost check) 12) Enter rooms saying greetings brethren 13) Bow when I greet people of authority 14) When I notice an event that is probably going to be a safe and fun way to have social interaction: invite friends to go to the event without first evaluating how good of a friend they are. In other words, be friendly regardless of whether its reciprocated or not. Being a friend to friendly people is normal. Being a friend to strangers is hard. Its an act of vulnerability. Its an act of trust. No matter how many times it may bite you in the back, being labeled creepy because you are too kind or sincere is no excuse to stop being kind and sincere to lesser friends. (Not check yet, but Im working on it) Sadly, I cannot be the person I truly want to be because my culture deems it overstepping my boundaries. However, if anyone wants to treat me nicely but dont because of social norms, just know that I am a living safe-zone. Nothing you do to me will be evaluated as creepy. If your way of showing endearment is jumping on my back and yelling Im king of the hill, then it will be accepted. If its slapping me on the back while I do squats, have at it (although I have a self-defense reflex). If its punching my arm, poking my sides (see reflex note), or anything that I wrote above, I will take it as intended: to show amity. Everyone is my brother until they tell me otherwise. To Hell with social norms that facilitate isolation.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 04:54:37 +0000
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