This Tuesday feels like a Monday. Little Mama doesnt know up from sideways. The FedEx man came to the door while I was back in my bedroom. I didnt hear the doorbell and she answered it. He handed her the envelope and left and now shes responsible for something and doesnt know what to do with it. She threw it on the kitchen table, grabbed old newspapers off the recycle stack and came running through the house looking for me, thrust the old papers in my hand and said, Here, a man came to the door and gave these to me and I dont know what to do with them. I didnt sign for them or anything. So I look. They are yesterdays papers, I tell her. She starts looking frantic. A man gave them to me. I didnt sign for them but he gave them to me. I dont know what to do. I go look in the kitchen, which is where she was when I left the room, and theres my FedEx envelope. This is what he gave you, Mother. Thank you. Its from my publisher, I said. She is in tears. But what do I do with these papers he gave me? I took yesterdays papers out of her hands. Ill take care of them. Youre fine. Im not fine, she said, and there were tears in her eyes. I dont know whats happening. Im not fine. And thats where we stand today. Slipping yet another cog in whats left of her life. I dont think about it. I cant. My duty lies in the immediate and thats all either one of us can handle. Such a small thing... the ringing of a doorbell, and its changed the fabric of our life today. When faced with adversity, dont walk away. It changes nothing if you do. Turn and face it, my Bobby would say. Double up your fists and fight through it if you have to. Cry while its happening if it makes you feel better. Because once youve worked through it, it is nothing more than a lesson learned that youve left behind. Move on.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Apr 2014 14:57:54 +0000
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