This confession needs special attention, its quite a situation for this lady. I request readers to help her with your experience and intellect: I am in need of som advice. I am a female 25 years old. I am in love with a boy for the past 10 years. The story of our relationship is really complicated and hard to believe. He was my first crush and best friend. I was 10 years old at that time. We were in the same school for two years and after that i got transferred to another school. Later after a few years we again got in touch through orkut. May be it was all these years without each other, we fell in love in a short time. It was a perfect relationship. We were the Omg I wish I had a relationship like that couple. It was and still is a long distance relationship. After three years I noticed some changes in him. And no later than that I came to know that he was in love with another girl. He was like he fell in love with this girl before we met on orkut and since he didnt want to lose me again hid that fact from me. I was devastated, had a huge fight and broke up with him. But the next day his mother was diagnosed with cancer and was put for immediate surgery. He was very close to his mother and I knew I had to be there with him, it was the time he needed me the most. We decided to act like the incident between us never happened because it was the right thing to do that time. After few months his mom got better and was brought home. The very same day we sat for discussing our relationship. We both realized that we cant be without each other but at that same time neither of us wanted him to break up with the other girl, what was her fault. We decided to be there with each other always but not as a couple and he continued his relationship with the other girl. 5 years went by like this. We were the happiest pair again with just this one slight hitch that we were not a couple. I never wanted to be with another person, even though a lot of guys approached me in this 5 years. I didnt know what I was waiting for. Our relationship went to such an extent that we were faced with a dilemma as to what to do with it.. We wanted to be with each other for the rest of our lives but we couldnt hurt her. And it looked like their relationship was going strong too. They were now together for 8 years. But then she broke off with him as she found some one else. I thanked my stars. And we were back as the perfect couple. The problem is I think he is taking me for granted. Now he is quite the playboy and badass kinda guy. Drinking, smoking, flirting, anything you name it he has done it. But he was good at heart and very popular with lots of friends and ofcourse girls drooling behind him. On the other hand I am this perfect Indian girl ghar ki bahu type, you name it I havent even heard of it. So you can see how our views on everything in life are. He does all those things which i hate the most. But i have never restricted him from doing anything. When he meets a girl he even hides the fact that he is in relationship with me and flirts with her till she fall for him. I never had a problem with it or anything else. I was like boys are boys and as long as he can make me happy and feel secure inspite of all these, then why should I interfere and not let him live his life. But only thing with I have a problem is he never considered me as a priority in his life. He always put me and my needs second to everything in his life. Whenever he is out with his friends or someone he never pick my calls on the other hand when he is with me he is always on the phone. When I call him and he is on another call he makes me keep waiting for hours and when on call with me and someone calls him then he drops the call and go. When i ask him to do something and at the same time somebody else asks him to do something he ignores mine. He always cancelled our plans for meeting( even when its been months since we met last) because he had to meet someone else or do something for someone. Or even when on those days we met he often left me suddenly because somebody else asked to meet up, leaving me stranded alone. No matter who is on the other side whether it be his family, friends, all those girls or even a person he met yesterday he does the same. But when he has nothing else to do or no one else to care for he is the perfect boyfriend in this world. When he is alone at home with nowhere to go and nobody calling him he is always on the phone with me. When he has no other plans for the weekend he travels 300kms every weekend just to see me. And we are together if nobody calls him or ask him to meet he treats me like a princess. We have had huge fights over this. I feel that he only has time for me when he is bored and have nothing else to do. His explanation is he thinks that I am the person who can understand him the most and when he says why he cant do it for me i will understand and others wont and that is why he is giving preference for others. Please tell me whether he is taking me for granted and if so what am I to do. I have invested 10 years of my life in him and cant imagine a life without him. And he also inspite of all these loves me a lot, gives me the freedom to do anything I want, supported me in all my junctures of life makes me feel secure in such a way that i feel as if nothing can affect me as long as hes there with me. We both know a breakup is beyond us at this point. We both can never do without each other. But on the other hand we always keep having this fight which has now gone beyond control. In less than 2 years time we are planning to get married and we are worried about where this one fight will take us. Please advise us. Should we put this past us and look at all other things that kept us together for the past 10 years or should we be worried about this. He will continue to treat me as a second priority to everything in his life and i will be shattered everytime he does it and our fights will go on. today when we fight, even thr dirtiest ones never go beyond 3-4 hours. But will it become a problem once we get married.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 07:16:52 +0000
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