This had me bawling... :((*** so many mixed emotions. I wish more than anything else right now that I could afford one of these for my Noobie. Every day I seriously consider euthanizing him as i see him repeatedly struggle sooo hard to get up & walk. :((*** Ive aged 20 yrs thru this 3 yr steadily declining process with him. Its been utter agony at times. He has so much life still left in him, seems so desperate to burst out of his withered & word earth suit & be free to run like the wind again at last! But that intensity makes it impossible for me to artificially END IT. His determination to keep moving AROUND THE CLOCK! If he could just move more during the day hed sleep more at night! I only regret that Im not stronger, healthier & wealthier to be able to provide the very best for him during these precious yet EXTREMELY challenging final days of his life. :{ OH to just TRY a 4 wheeled cart.... JUST TRY one, Im aching with curiosity to see how hed do with it. He rarely rests for more than an hour at a time, then hes right back to struggling & thrashing around wildly, whining & even barking now, until I help him to get up, support his rear working but feeble legs with a winter scarf that I hold so that his feet touch the ground, even though he can barely use those legs any more. Muscle is pretty much gone now. :( But he sure can kick & run fast while hes dreaming! Waking to his present 3D reality must be quite shocking after such a pleasant or exciting jaunt thru the forest with his buddies in Dreamland. :[ Im so exhausted & sad that I can barely function at times, even increasingly falling apart in public, like while shopping or doing biz in general. Im certain its mostly due to extreme sleep deprivation, emotional drain, financial strain & HORMONAL change. My mind is scattered & pressed beyond its limits. Daily hikes in the forest with Mia, Lilly & Bongo are the only true untainted joy that I feeel these days & Im BEYOND grateful for every precious moment. Although Noobie often barks the entire time we hike now, which is also deeply disturbing. Breaks my heart. He used to sleep anytime he was INSIDE the car, but his frustration is clearly increasing. :(( Ive been averageing 3-5 hrs of very broken sleep a nite for over 6 months, between my own physical pain & addressing his constant needs (he lost all bladder & bowel control close to a yr ago). He is able to sleep peacefully, even for HOURS, as long as Im driving him around & hes moving or if Im sitting right next to him, gently messaging him & singing my Noobie song or just stroking him when his head pops up to find me. I rotate him to different positions sometimes 100+ times in the 10+ hrs that I attempt to sleep each night. Im on the floor next to Noob much longer than in my bed. I get maybe 1 hr for every 2 spent tending to his demands. If he is not stimulated enough during the day... itll DEFINITELY be a LOOOOOONG & dreaded night. :((*** He is quiet & relaxed as long as I immediately address his desires. He eats at least 6 times in 24 hrs., Ive learned that if his blood sugar drops too much he becomes even more frantic & upset when he gets bored. Im figuring out some ways to get a bit more done, but rest is always severely lacking. This has DEFINITELY been the most intense & challenging year of my life. PLEASE continue to send loving vibes our way, it is more appreciated than I can express in words. OH BLESSED BE.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 18:06:24 +0000
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