This is What I Feel For Her When the Rain Comes Down Loud and Hard Rushed, hurried movements in the dark, blinding feeling, the spin and click and boom of a heartbeat echoing over my blood, over my canvas skin. Hollow, like a grandfather clock in an empty corridor. Doors swinging open and slamming closed, working together, heart-strings and heart-drums and heart-murmurs to burn up the fuel. Ebb and flow of water around bones, of thick swallows in the nighttime. She makes me heavy, pushed her way through me, around me, away from me and then back into me. Wrapped so gently around muscle, tissue and nerves, softly never letting go. A smile like the sun gone wet on my skin, shimmering, winking out in space. She says my name and it comes from a place between her ribs, clawing out from that skeleton cage, from a somewhere only she can feel and know. Shiver, shiver, and shiver more because every note is a nail in my spine. She inhales in her lungs, which are my lungs, and exhaling from the clouds is thunder. Her feet pound into dirt, and it quivers through the earth and quakes at my feet. And these things are wound on a wire, spun through both of us, through everything. Hooks in my shoulderblades, tugging me nearer as we sleep. I feel her under my nails as I dig through dream after dream, overwhelmed by paper, gripped tight by the kisses never had, the words never spoken, the possibility of nothing to come. Crying out, shaking rain from the sky, screaming across everything in hopes of hearing something in return. I sit here now with the chair creaking under the weight of her bones in my bones, her fears and her tears filling up the marrow. Sinking. I am sinking while I run through town after town, mumbling her beauty under my breath, telling all the faces, asking please, please, have you seen this girl? All the while, my shoes filling with mud, getting stuck in the bog, swimming across a puddle that is also a lake and an ocean and when I swim far enough, she stands at the other side. And the people come, gather to watch with their mouths open wide, voices together and echoing across the crushing water, “Oh, but she loves you.”
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 22:26:00 +0000
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