This is a vent post more than anything. So here goes. I have been very unhappy for a very long time. Yes I suffer from depression. Im pleased with my bird flock of course, and my son is a great kid so I have a lot to be thankful for. But I want out of this town. The main reason why I asked about making money online in a way that was better than surveys that paid a pittance is because I want to try to get some sort of money ahead. Im on disability and pay rent out of pocket and utility bills. I live on about $800 a month and got my food stamps cut drastically. I am blessed to be able to find food banks that offer a few groceries but yet I think they sometimes get sick of seeing me. There is nothing wrong with Jay on the whole. There are some great people here as far as that goes. But when I live on about $800 a month that does not leave a lot of meat on the bone to do what I really want to do: live kind of away from people, in the boonies, just me, my kid, and my birds. See I trusted someone who told me I would get out of here. I was made lots of promises that Id not even really have to be on disability anymore, that Id be able to pay my mothers funeral bill off (it has been four years and even at $20 a month, Ive never put a dent in it.) I hung on for a long time, thinking my ship would come in and that my life would improve. I could get my mothers funeral bill paid off once and for all, and a few other minor debts that I acquired when my mom first passed away until I could shuffle my priorities and pay on a single income what wed always comfortably managed to pay when Mom was still alive. She had a good job and what we did was pooled our resources. Wed pay half the bills each, and take turns getting things the household needed. Id be responsible for the internet and satellite bill and half the groceries. Then she got too sick to work but she at least had my stepdads pension to work with as well. Sadly she got two checks before she died. The hardest thing I ever had to do was send that last check back to Social Security.But at least I am honest and I did the right thing. Well the persons who made all these promises to me is living the high life and Im still stuck here. Those promises were broken and lame excuses were made as to the reason. Threats as empty as the promises ensued if I dared say anything but you know what? Screw it. Of course they turned me into the bad guy. Yep...let me be the bad guy then for believing in someone enough to think they were telling me the truth, that I would get what was promised only to make a lame excuse to drop me like yesterdays garbage when they decide I have outlived my usefulness. I dont need people like this in my life. No I am not able to get a regular job. I dont drive, have a car, and have never owned one. Who could afford to drive and maintain a car on my income when I have rent and climbing utility bills even if I did? Im always broke because I pay those bills. On time. Consistently. I have never been late. I have done what it took: picking up cans, dumpster diving for recyclable metal and selling anything of value to get it done. I would seriously like to find someone who is willing to work with me in regards to buying a place. I cannot take out a loan as I have no collateral. But my payment history should account for something. The way I see it, there are personal one on one by owner mortgages that are cheaper than what I currently pay in rent. I would not mind buying where I am living now but the landlady doesnt want to sell. She wants it to help her invest in her own future and that is great because she is a very smart and savvy lady. But I dont want to rent forever and when Collen turns 18 my income will drop by half. I have four years to try to find a way to save or get something cheaper that I actually OWN, even if I pay it off a little at a time over a period of ten years or whatever. See when it comes to rent, I have paid roughly $6000 a year for four years. Thats 24 grand. There are houses out there to buy for around 25K...see what I mean? I dont have that in one lump but I could pay a place off then just pay property taxes here and there for a while and itll be alright. I am not writing this to ask anyone for anything and Im not writing it to ask people to take pity. But I realized I could not pay bills on empty promises and I also realized that if I want the things in life I really want: to pay off the few debts I have, to have my own home and not having to deal with taking care of someone elses property, I cannot rely on someone who made me promises for years and who strung me along all that time. Id rather live where I have a spring or well and not have to worry about a water bill. If someone knows anyone around here who would be willing to sell to me on a month to month basis rent to own situation, I would love that. I only ask that I be able to have our birds because I have few things that make me happy in life and they are one of them.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 19:19:55 +0000
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