This is going to be a long one folks, so get a cup of coffee or tea or your beverage of choice. Yesterday, was a great and continued to be a great day into last night. I woke up with no migraine was able to get a few things done, read quite a bit which I cant do when my head hurts. Today, of course, a migraine is starting.... But the best thing that happened yesterday, is I talked with a couple of friends (you all know who you are). I had a good time talking cats. But then I got a call from a woman who (as our conversation continued) had a worse last few years than I had. Many of you were right beside me during the illnesses, and deaths last year, and I know you grieved with me and in fact, a few of you had suffered your own losses during 2014. When I got off the phone last night, I decided that I had no right to complain. As my Nana used to say somebody out there always has it worse. Until last night that saying was not one I was fond of (along with when one door closes another one opens). 😄 This phone call was from a woman of about my age who has (like many of us) recently lost a pet. What made her story special to me and stand out was the fact she had suffered the loss of three pets and the demise of her marriage, her home, her family (circumstances required a cross states move) and other loved ones and support system. Because of cumulative loss with the final blow of the last of her cats, she was really suffering. When she spoke about her cat and she started to get emotional, she apologized to me. I said look you are talking to someone who knows and understands the depth of your loss. To which she replied that whenever she has tried to talk about him and how sad she is, she had not received much support - kind of a get over it, its just a cat. So consequently, she has not begun to grieve. My job last night was to be the anonymous person in the dark night who did not judge and completely understood. To tell her it was completely normal to grieve and to ignore unsupportive people. And her grief and loss were hers no one elses. She needed to grieve. Why non-pet owners and even some pet-owners who perhaps got a pet for the kids and never really bonded, I not sure which.. But perhaps these people with the attitude of its just an animal -get over it. They do not understand that a pet to us, and yes, I am including you all in that statement because otherwise you wouldnt be here, a pet to us is like losing a family member. That is not to say an animal is equal to human, theyre not. I mean they are not governed by laws, they are instinctual beings, they cant vote, etc. maybe I am not saying this correctly... But our relationship with a pet in many ways is deeper on some levels, because they are totally unconditional. A spouse (no matter how great a marriage), a child (no matter how great the child) at one time or another will let us down - because they are human and humans make mistakes and over look things because they dont FEEL our emotions. On the other hand, animals cannot speak our language and go on our body language. Our pets snuggle up close and many times will not leave for meals because they know we are ill or down, so they provide comfort. Then you feel better or recover and the pet goes back to his/her routine in our household. Easy-peasy, right? I have felt this way for years about animals. In many ways as I have grown older and suffered the normal stuff we all go through with relationships and loss, the one thing that was always a constant was a pet. The whole point to my relating this on FB, is somehow during the fast pace style our country/world is in, many of us somehow have lost our empathy towards one another. Rudeness, short, snippy answers, have become the norm. Dont you think our furry friends have something? It is only man that is destructive, who wage wars. Human beings hold grudges and sometimes, there are some that are downright vindictive. Animals just are not evolved to be like that and Thank God, they are not. Anyway, I wanted to share this because I learned or possibly remembered something what I do is more than show cats, or breed cats. I, on some level, connect with each and every one of you because of our mutual shared love for an ANIMAL. Which, I think, is pretty cool. I know the lady last night found an ear to pour her heart to and finally begin to grieve. And you know what, it made me realize that my Nanas sayings are true! And now maybe I can give myself permission to grieve for my losses last year and to recover. It is a better day today, even with a frigging migraine. - my heart is lighter! Thank you to everyone for your never ending support and I do so appreciate each one of you. 😍
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 15:15:07 +0000
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