This is hard to admit because I try to keep all of my true - TopicsExpress



          

This is hard to admit because I try to keep all of my true emotions to myself and not burden anyone with my problems, but better to say it here than not say it at all. Im that guy whos constantly late to every single class. The first day of class I try to make a great impression and I sit in a seat that I know will best facilitate my learning, but every second Im in class I want to be somewhere else. My PTSD keeps me awake almost every night, sometimes until 4 am. I know a lot of people can stay up this late and make it into class on time, but when that alarm clock goes off I just physically cant get out of bed. I snooze my alarm as many times as I can before it gets to clinch time and Ive got to haul ass to get ready, but Im always late anyway so I dont know why I try so hard. The only reason Im continuing to work towards my degree is because Im using GI Bill and Ive made it this far so I may as well finish it out, but I just dont care anymore. My heart is drawn back to service and doing what little I could to defeat evil in the world. More and more I feel trapped in a world of people who dont and wont understand me or the world we live in. When you face war and you see the death around you and you see what evil really looks like, its like your eyes open. The terrible part is that even after you survive such evil you can never close your eyes again, and youre torn in two when you see unspeakable things being done to those a world away. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke. I may not be a good man but evil is still flourishing while I do nothing. I carried a medbag for my team, helping those in need is in my nature. It tears me apart that I cant help those who are in dire need, dealing with life and death situations, when Im stuck here in this world that doesnt get me, what Ive been through, how I feel, or what I want I dont want sympathy, I just want people to know that everyone is struggling with something. It wouldnt hurt to smile a bit more TU, even I try to smile at everyone I meet and Im dealing with some pretty dark thoughts. Winters coming, so is SAD, try and brighten up this school a bit for those who may suffer from it.
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 04:55:18 +0000

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