This is long. I rarely go into personal things on Facebook, but today is different. I feel completely compelled. Hang with me! :) 5 years ago today an event occurred that changed my, my husband, and my childrens lives forever. Take it back to 18 years ago... my husband was planning a wedding, preparing to be married to a wonderful woman in August... fresh out of college, the whole world at their doorstep.. and planning their lives together forever ... Four years later (14 years ago this month) they had their first child. Brianna Hope. She was perfect. Almost exactly 2 years later, life was complete when a son was born: Luke Douglas--named after his father who couldnt be more proud. Then almost 2 years later to the date (because it was EASY to plan to get pregnant) another girl was welcomed into the growing family. Kayla Joy—the happiest baby yet. Then 2 years later came Emma Grace... the most endearing little girl you could ever meet. They were done. 4 is a good number. Even, predictable, and yet a beautifully full house bubbling with life. Then something changed. A doctors visit. A lump. A diagnosis. The word no one ever wants to hear--especially a young mother with four small children whom she is lovingly homeschooling, raising up, and serving. They are believing for healing. There is stress in business, stress in life. This confident uncertainty ... but not really knowing what to do other than pray (which is a very good thing). Then, accidentally, a new pregnancy... a baby growing and a mommy fading. He was born, sweet little Nathan James, on February 8, 2009... Then 3 months and 3 weeks. She was in a white bed... they dimmed the lights so the children could come in and say hello and I love you... 24 hours later she was gone. My husband fell to his knees, lifted his hands to heaven and said, THANK YOU GOD FOR HER LIFE. THANK YOU FOR THE TIME WE HAD. What a man of God he is. Brianna had just turned 9 a week before. Luke had just turned 7, Kayla was barely 5. Little Emma was 2 1/2 and Nathan, the baby, was 3 months and 3 weeks. The loss was immeasurable... the magnitude too great to bear at times. What a year... they visited family and had family come and stay with them... they learned to survive... and tried to rebuild. They watched hours of family videos... the kids remembering a person... a place of warmth, love, happiness... in the past. I could weep bitterly at this moment. 8 months and 1 day later Doug and I crossed paths online. January 28, 2010. Many long, long talks. Lots of prayer. Decisions. On May 2nd we were engaged. On May 16th I moved to Michigan, lived with friends, and exactly 10 years after Brianna was born, a new mom was born into her life full time. May 27th, 2010. One year. I woke up early and left the Kramers house (my bedroom for the engagement period)... on the way to Dougs house I passed the cemetery. I knew what it was, where it was, and I wanted to ignore it. But I pulled in. I walked through with the sun just barely rising... feeling an overwhelming lump growing in my throat. Then I stepped over it... Kimberly Lynn Schrandt ... a beautiful, large stone. A perfectly impressioned photo. I knelt and didnt know if I could cry... I wanted to cry but I also wanted to run out of there and get on with the engagement and wedding planning that Id always dreamed of. But I was glued to the wet earth beneath me... sitting in front of her stone. How did I get here? ... Am I making a mistake? ... How can I possibly fill the shoes of such a loving mother, awesome wife, and amazing home maker? ... For the first time in my life I was overwhelmed in such a deep and complex way I couldnt even describe it. I got up, brushed off my shorts, walked back to the minivan she had been driving not much more than a year prior, and continued on the route to face my fiancé and five children... That summer was busy and eventful and full of anticipation... it was also full of packing a house and going through drawers, cabinets, and closets that felt as if I was snooping through someone elses life. It was so hard. (For everyone involved). September 5, 2010 ... my wedding day. I woke up to a dirty diaper of my 19 month old son... I loved him, sweet little guy... The kids were a part of the ceremony. Honeymoon. Disney World. All seemed right with the world, as long as I didnt remember. I had a lot of bitterness. I felt angry, jealous, and deeply sad all at the same time--and then guilt for feeling any of that to begin with. I had many lost pregnancies. May 27, 2011.... I was so angry at this person who had it so easy and could get pregnant like clockwork... Christmas, 2011... after many failed reproductive treatments. I let go and I let God radically invade my heart again... I let go of the bitterness. I welcomed Kims family back into our lives. 2 weeks later, I was pregnant. I had 9 months and a week. God healed and restored my heart, my mind, my emotions, my worth... and I never had another issue with that pregnancy. God heals in MANY different ways. October 23, 2012. The day that Calvary Faith was born. Oh to love! My goodness, the love of a mother! I wept that I finally had a baby! ... and then I wept because I already had 5... and then I wept for weeping… and they ALL needed me. I became a mommy... not a mother, not a care taker, not just mom but a mommy... a term of endearment. I saw what it was like to love, I felt it to the core of my bones. And I was willed and committed to loving them all six like that. I became increasingly cautious of everything in our home... I wouldnt wash the babys hair or body with anything but warm water and oils. I wouldnt use diaper cream, but only coconut oil. I went before that little girl like a shield before a soldier. Then I thought, “what in the world? I have FIVE OTHER children who need this same protection and shield from the love of a mommy.” I had this realization of how much I loved them… even though I didn’t do everything right, I loved those sweet children and I felt a burden to protect them just as I was protecting the baby. It was an epiphany moment. I started to research a lot of things including breast cancer. Could my girls get it someday, too? God forbid! What I learned I shared with Doug. We became increasingly aware of things. We started checking every label… having learned that most things are full of carcinogens that cause cancer. We started changing the way we ran our home. Spring 2013. We planted our first big garden, using only organic methods. We replaced sugar with local raw honey. We replaced windex with water and elbow grease. We replaced deodorant (a big one!) with coconut oil and lavender. We became aware. We became empowered. We were gaining knowledge and insight by reading and studying about a more “natural” life and natural remedies for our home. We studied thousands of hours. Around that time my friend asked me to be praying for a 16 year old girl. I didn’t know her, but my kids and I prayed for her every morning, by name, before we began our school day. We believe that God heals supernaturally. I had been praying about whether to start sharing the information we were learning… as I went through the days, weeding in the garden, playing with the kids, sitting alone at times… I was thinking… a lot. What did my life really mean? And what about people who are sick and dying? Why? May 27, 2013. I went on a date with my husband, hoping he wasn’t thinking of Kim… but I couldn’t help but ask, “are you thinking of her today?” “A little,” he said. “Are you sad?” I asked. “Not really. Because I know she is in heaven and I am in love with you,” … said the most amazing man in the world. Really. How mature. How Godly. How focused. Doug, I admire and honor you. I was still in deep thought… why don’t people know about prevention? Prevention is NOT just finding the lump early. It is NOT walking a mile in a pink shirt. Prevention is the way God intended it to be. Finding a lump early doesn’t always mean life goes on. A few weeks later, we got word that the 16 year old girls’ parents had signed her over to hospice care. (“What is hospice, care?” I thought…) I had never heard much about it… so I looked it up online.¬¬ I was thinking about hospice care. I was thinking about prevention. I was thinking about my husband who had to dim the lights before he brought them in. I was thinking about how the enemy of God comes to steal, kill, and destroy us. Later that day I found a stuffed-full maroon folder that I’d never seen before. How odd. I had packed and unpacked and organized and re-organized our household THREE times for three moves in less than two years. I knew every box, every book, every folder. I’d never seen this one before. I opened it. On the top line was written “Kimberly Schrandt”. On the bottom line “Doug Schrandt, May 26, 2009” … signed hospice papers. I fell into the chair at my desk… a million thoughts flooding my head… I could imagine Doug sitting in the hospital chair signing the paper. I could see him in my mind. Resolute but broken. Hospice. Again. The same day. What in the world?! … I started sorting through emotions and deep thoughts. I was angry. I was sad. I was jealous. I was thankful. I was all over the place. Why are people dying? How can a 35 year old, beautiful healthy woman die of cancer? And a 16 year old girl have this brain tumor that is literally killing her slowly. I was so mad. I believe that the enemy of God would love nothing more than to steal, kill, and destroy any and every part of us. I had a revelation… “What better way for Satan to destroy God’s beloved (us) than to do what he does best? Deceive, mask, twist. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.” … things like: This is all good. These will make you beautiful. These will cut your cleaning time in half. These will take away headaches in minutes. It hit me like a sack of potatoes. It was very deep in my heart and mind and I didn’t speak of it to anyone for fear of losing my credibility, my reputation, and the respect of those people in my life who might think I was crazy. I began a journey (one that I had already begun but was now fully committed to). I wanted to share natural alternatives with people… and I was convicted in my heart. Enter Young Living Essential Oils. Holy cow. These oils. :) They’ve really raised quite a ruckus around this house. We use them for everything. We have been teaching the kids about toxins, petrochemicals, junk. We scrutinize what we eat, what we clean with, what bath and body products we use. Here’s the problem: Young Living is a company who says, “Hey! Thanks for recommending our pure oils to your friends and family… here’s $10,000 this month.” Uh.oh. Dang it. Not only will everyone else know that Young Living pays people to share their oils… but I know it, too. Will people ever trust that in my heart and at my core, I am wanting to TEACH about what we’ve learned? … about the revelation that God’s given us? Not only others’ perception of me, but oh how money can lead us astray! … Here is the deal… at my core, in my heart of hearts, in my “spirit man” that is pursuing the heart of God… I WANT TO SEE PEOPLE WELL!!!!!!!! I don’t want to exploit Kim’s death… but see, Kim is so full and so rich in heaven today. She is forever rejoicing, and I am SO TODAY, I POST THIS IN HONOR OF KIM… the one whose baton I am now running with. But here’s the thing: We are a deceived culture! We have a ton of “staple” items in our homes that are killing us… not only killing us, but creating sicknesses, disorders, dysfunctions, and more! I am SICK of it. I hate the devil with a vengeance. I want to laugh in his FACE when God’s people wake up and realize that ABSOLUTELY… GOD HEALS… HE HEALS SUPERNATURALLY… and ALSO, God gave us plants for our food, and for our medicine, and for our antiseptics, and our antibiotics. He created all we need. His love for us is so dynamic, so wise. I believe God gave me this passion, this purpose. My first role is a faithful follower of Him. After that, I want to serve and love my husband and I WILL, UNTIL MY DYING DAY, PROTECT my children… and third, I want to TELL YOU… that there IS another way! We aren’t limited to what’s on the store shelves that’s full of toxins that are destroying our bodies. There are SO many options… for medicine, for cleaners, for bath & body products. Within seconds of breathing, rubbing topically, or ingesting toxins… they reach our bloodstream. Wow. Come on, y’all… No more dimly lit hospital rooms. No more beautifully inscripted head stones. No more “anniversary of death” dates. NO MORE. This lights a fire under me. I could shout it from the rooftops, “We HAVE choices… and really good ones at that!” God is a God of VICTORY. He is about abundant life. If I can take you out on a limb with me…… the enemy of God is about the OPPOSITE. And he won’t ring our front door and say, “HEY, DRINK THIS POISON , PLEASE!” … but the Word says he is the prince of this air. He is a deceiver. He is an orchestrator of industries, programs, and misguided individuals. I am not saying that Kim’s death was anyone’s fault… and it doesn’t matter anyway, because she is forever fulfilled dancing with Jesus right now. BUT… I do know that God has now given me this information… and my head and heart are full of passion, love, and joy knowing HOW BIG GOD IS… how infinite, how incredible that Revelation 22:2 says “The leaves of the trees are for the healing of the nations.” Guys, I have at times strayed from this purpose. I have, at times, been motivated by wanting to free our family of financial burden. But I can tell you that my intentions and the reason God compelled me that day to begin sharing with the world, are to help prevent… and to help heal the damage already done in our bodies. Oils do heal. Oils DO work. They ARE ancient. They are all over scriptures. They don’t replace supernatural healing; they compliment it. I feel so resolute. My heart has been renewed over and over again on this journey. I have failed so.many.times. But I love the Lord with my whole heart and His grace is sufficient for me. I have set my mind like a flint on the things of God—all of them, including his provision for us. In my core, in my heart, in the depths of my mind—of the research I’ve done, of the testimonies I’ve heard, of the standards I’ve witnessed, I trust that Young Living is producing oils the way God intended. I honestly don’t care if you get oils through me, through a friend, or from online where no one ever knows... I just want people using them. May 27, 2014. 5 years. 5 seems like a significant number. What a journey. What a purpose. I am so reflective today of the revelations of truth God has given us. He is so good. His wisdom is so relevant. Too much “natural living” that’s not tempered with the Word of God and the Spirit of God gets to be “new age” and weird. Too much of “God ONLY heals supernaturally” puts a big God into a small box. It’s better to be balanced, to be prayerful, and to keep our eyes focused on Jesus, but our minds sober and vigilant… because “our adversary, the devil, roams about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.” God bless you. I’m sure I didn’t say everything right, but I hope my heart and intentions were conveyed. Love and Hugs, Jordan
Posted on: Wed, 28 May 2014 02:43:05 +0000