This is long and I apologize. Consider it a journal entry. :) I took the kids to see the movie Big Hero 6 yesterday. I knew absolutely nothing about this movie, other than it was a kids movie that my kids wanted to see. It turns out that the story dealt a lot with death. It reminded me of Japanese anime where there is usually a bigger message, the world is bigger than us, life and death, the circle of life, respecting life, learning hard lessons, etc. It did have a happy ending and all that, and it wasnt at all real of course, being that it was fictional CGI. Yet, stories about death in any format still affect me, even if they arent real life, as silly and ridiculous as they may sound. Before we lost Jude, I didnt really think much about it in movies other than it was just another element to the story: Sad, sure, but just a story. But now when I watch something to do with death, I always, always relate it back to Jude and the sadness of death, even make-believe, moves me tremendously. SPOILER if you care about seeing this movie: The hero of the story, whose name happens to be named Hero, had already lost his parents (this was mentioned but was not part of the movie. He lost them when he was 3 and now he is 14 when this story is being told), but he still has his older brother, and their aunt takes care of them. Sadly, he loses his brother, too. He has a lot of anger and conflict over it, and seeks revenge. At one point he breaks down, and yells He isnt here! He isnt here anymore!, and the robot that his brother had built, the robot being a big part of the movie, says, He *is* here and plays videos of his brother that Hero had never seen before. Finding things that you had never seen before after someone has passed is probably the most painful yet greatest gifts you could ever find. And of course, there is the more existential idea of our lost loved ones still being here. I imagined at that point the boy in the video being Jude, and how much that would touch me, and then I had to try hard not to cry. I had to stop myself from crying at a make-believe, CGI story that wasnt really about Jude. But it *was* in a way. I was able to stop myself from crying. And heres why, and actually the interesting part of this story: As we were walking into Theater 2 where this movie was going to play, I saw a group of girls having a birthday party. I just vaguely noticed them and didnt think much of them, until a little girl ran up to me with a huge smile of recognition and said, HI!!! That alone touched my heart because she is such a sweet girl and I was glad she said Hi to us. (She is a 3rd grader at Hershey, the school that Jude went to, and I am friends with her mom who has kids the twins age) She asked and I told her what movie we were seeing. She told me she just saw it. She said it was good, but warned me that it was kind of sad. She said the whole thing wasnt sad, but parts of it were indeed, sad. I instinctively knew what she meant of course, that death was somehow involved. And being a Disney movie, I prepared myself that a child or a pet might get sick and/or die. It sounds trivial I suppose, but to me, it was a blessing that I saw her at the right place at the right time, and she was able to warn me. Because being prepared, I still felt the pain, but didnt have to totally lose it completely unprepared while watching a kids movie with my kids. On a side note, just today, Matt was also at the right place at the right time when he witnessed two young people in our neighborhood wipe out on their dirt bike. He was there immediately and was able to get help right away. I guess through all of the adversity and trauma of losing Jude, the Universe does not cease to amaze me, the way things revolve, people being there for each other, the interactions of small things affecting a bigger chain of events. Maybe the things I described above mean absolutely nothing and Im reading too much into it. Even if I am, so what? Believing in something bigger gives me hope, and makes me love being here, and to love thinking about Jude.
Posted on: Sun, 16 Nov 2014 20:14:41 +0000
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