This is me at my heaviest and me now. My journey to lose weight started years ago, but I allowed myself to quit and keep making excuses to not get healthy and take control of my life. I lost my sister in 1999, and my father in 2006. The heartache took over and depression set in. Along with losing my father, I was going through a very tough marriage that made me forget who I was and made me stop caring about myself. I kept telling myself that I was ok how I was. I was married, off the market, and not looking to impress anyone. But what I wasnt doing was acknowledging the pain I felt in my heart and the depression that was setting in. One of the biggest things that bothered me during my marriage was the fact that Ive always wanted children, and for whatever reason, it never happened. I went through testing and was told to lose weight and it will happen. We kept trying, but it never happened. Well, I lost quite a bit of weight, about 20 pounds, and still no change. I just came to accept the fact that it will never happen. Then my marriage fell apart, and I was back to my depressed little world. The weight started coming back, and I had given up on myself. I was drinking beer every weekend and sometimes during the week. Id go out with my girls and eat everything that I knew wasnt good for me, but I was with my girls and they loved me for who I was, so I had no worries. I didnt love myself. A year passed, and I had hit my heaviest weight ... 242 pounds! How did I let myself get to this weight?! I had to do something because no man wants a girl my size, right? Wrong! I reunited with my high school sweetheart, and he reminded me of my self worth. He encouraged me every day to get myself back into shape. When I felt down on myself, he would remind me of how strong I am and tell me that I can do it. I was getting support from my companion, something I had never experienced before. New doors were opening for me! Now, we are planning our wedding for May 2015, and that is my inspiration to keep pushing to make these healthy lifestyle changes. Ive gotten my bridesmaids on board, and theyve kept me on board. I love them so dearly. Thank you, Torrie and Kristy for believing in me and making me believe in myself and love myself again. I couldnt do it without your support and big hearts. I love you girls to the moon and back! We got this!
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 00:34:38 +0000
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