This is really long, but extremely extremely amazing and heart breaking! A 15 year old wrote this and her mother shared it on a JIA board. This girl!!!!!!!! AMAZING! I know I cant do this. But Im doing it anyway. And whether you believe me or not, I dont care. I dont NEED your support. Ive been fighting this battle my entire life, and you think you know what pain is. You think you have a right to tell me that I have it easy. No. No, you do not. Open your eyes and read any article or comment on a Facebook or Instagram post, look on Twitter, even turn on the TV. Read a book. Arthritis is a silent and invisible battle, and whether you like it or not, there is no cure. Ive accepted that, BUT Im fighting anyway. Im doing everything I possibly can to keep myself from turning into a twisted, mangled, horrifying stump of human flesh, and it is HARD. It HURTS. You think its not that bad? Its all in my head? Yeah. Some of it is in my head. This comes with psychological things, so yeah, I have a shrink, yeah, I have depression, and yes, I can be anti-social. I promise you: if you could read my mind, you would go insane. If you spent even a half a second in my body, you would be dead on the ground. If you took one step into my life and saw how I have it, you would wish you had never been born. Dont you dare tell me it isnt that bad. Dont you dare tell me someone has it worse. We all have our own battles. Im fighting for all of the people who have the blue ribbon, not just myself. Im fighting for the elderly AND the young. Who are you fighting for? Money? Yourself? Grow up. Im fifteen and I am fighting for my life. Ive taken on responsibilities that 40 year old women are just starting to realize theyll eventually have to face. Im ready to change the world and Im being injected with two chemicals that are killing me every single week. What are you doing? Are you stressed? Me too. Are you failing school? Me too. Why are you failing? Oh, because you dont want to try? Im failing because I missed more school than I was in school, and the state BOUND me to my house. Oh, you have a family to support? Thats understandable, I suppose. Youre gonna complain about it? I would do anything to know I could be a mom. My GYN doctor told me the only way for me to have kids is by pumping more medication into my system. You think youre hungry? Step out of your first world doorway and look at the people around you. They are hungry. THEY are starving. No. I dont have it that bad, but I have it bad enough to get (ticked) off when people have a golden stick up their (). Hop off your throne. Get your (self) together, because no one gives a crap what you think. I dont care if you think Im a liar. I am stronger than you are, even though I cant squeeze the shampoo out of a bottle without using the wall to help me. Go on, let that float through your mind. When I die, there will be hundreds of people who loved me because I made a difference to them. I complimented them, I changed their lives, I inspired them, and I made them want to be different. When you die, who is gonna remember you? Why should they, when you try to put your petty problems above others, and be completely selfish over nothing? I dont care if anyone pays attention to me, because thats what my illness is. I fight alone, because its my battle. Dont try to insult me or anyone else by saying I have it easy. I do not have it easy. YOU have it easy. Anyone who knows what true pain understands what its like to fight. Youll never hear us sincerely complain. Sure, we cry. We gasp in pain and take meds to stop the burning. We ask for help and we occasionally joke about our ailments, but we never flat out say our lives suck. The people who want attention, the people who cry for the love and say things only for the benefit of themselves- they dont know what pain is. The only people true fighters complain to are the people they love and know will support them. Stop attention whoring, stop insulting my illness and my cause. I will not stand for it. Greed will be your downfall, not mine. You will drown in your spoils and be utterly alone. I will burn in my pain.. but Ill have an army behind me ~kat
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:44:33 +0000
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