This is weird I know but I keep having this dream or something that the devil is either trying to possess me or is possessing me. I wake up and I have this horrible feeling. Like either something is in my room with me...or that dream was so terrifying that the energy is so bad that it makes it feel like there is someone there. And I know that Im not the only one who senses it because when my Siamese cat is in there with me...she starts to growl....hiss...and wants to get out of my room. Keep in mind though...I dont have two of the things that I have been used to having. One is a chemical that I have been used to having since 2005 (Paxil)......and the other one produces a feel good chemical, but its a person. Yesterday, I cried uncontrollably for a good portion of the day. But this type of crying is scaring me because its almost as if I cant stop it. I just keep crying. And Im talking about where your body is starting to feel physical pain...like your heart is actually aching, your stomach muscles are starting to get sore because you are crying with that much force, your eyes keep welling up with tears, your nose is running and youve cried so much that your eyes hurt, and they are so swollen that you can barely see. Youve also got a headache and after youve blown your nose for 15th hundred time your nose is now plugged. If youve never cried like this....Imagine: Laughing so hard that you are crying, your stomach muscles hurt, you almost choke because you are not breathing right...and that is how much force you are using with your body. I also vomited like 4 times. Why? I dont know why? But I think part of it has to do with a whole bunch of things....like my hormones being out of balance (after my monthly visitor) and trying to find a way to become balanced. My sinus and allergy problems. The drainage from my sinuses. The bronchitis that hasnt gone away for like several months now. Maybe part of it has to do with looking at Ralph Fiennes. I used to have a big crush on him, and in a way still do, but he reminds me of my ex-husband. He looks a lot like him in my opinion. Picture a cross between Ralph Fiennes, Jude Law and the lead singer of Crowded House and youll pretty much have my ex. A verse from that song.... “Hey now, hey now, dont dream its over.” youtu.be/J9gKyRmic20 And whats strange is that I started crying because there was an incident with dishes. Maybe somehow I remembered? I dont know? But that was really weird.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 07:01:18 +0000
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