This just in. Due to the impending purely theoretical forecast of - TopicsExpress

This just in. Due to the impending purely theoretical forecast of frozen precipitation tomorrow, the world as we know it will be closed on Thursday. Please do not venture out or call for help should you need it as there will be no one to respond. Schools, businesses, social clubs, and non denominational cults will be shuttered and local looting gangs are on liberal leave. Have a safe and care free day tomorrow everyone, and if you feel a pain in your chest while shoveling please wait until Saturday to seek medical attention.

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