This morning, I woke up around 7:15 am. The first thought that popped into my mind was that Jason and I had 45 minutes to get ready before shift change at the NICU was over and we needed to go ahead and get our day started so we could go see Matthew. It was only a breath thought in those moments of sleepy grogginess and then reality came crashing down as I fully woke up and the grief of knowing that today was the day that we would be having the memorial service for Matthew. The grief in that moment was awful. I turned to Scripture to find comfort and these are the ones the Spirit guided me to. “But you, Lord are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” Psalm 3:3-5 “Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 5:1-3 “Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord for my bones are in agony. My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long? Turn, Lord and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. Among the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from the grave? I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow week with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes…The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Psalm 6: 1-7,9 “To you, Lord, I call; you are my Rock, do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who go down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help as I lift up my hands towards your most Holy Place…The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.” Psalm 28: 1,2,9 I hate the fact that there are things in life that drive us to the place of needing to find comfort in the words of lament that others have written because those others have experienced tragedies like we have. But how grateful my soul, my heart and my mind are today that the grief, anguish and pain I am experiencing is not my alone. I am not the first the experience it and sadly nor will I be the last. “He who testifies to these things says, “Yes I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.” Revelation 22:20
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:03:37 +0000
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