This post is going to be about suicide. Oh no, shock horror. Are we allowed to talk about such a taboo subject? This subject understandably makes people feel really uncomfortable, as most people fear mortality. I always had a hard time understanding why someone would want to take their own life, but this is mainly due to my own experiences as a child. I was seven when I first realised that we dont live forever, after the death of my nan. I had what can only be described as a psychotic episode. I completely trashed my bed room. Im talking bed and wardrobe tipped over clothes ripped. Toys smashed and destroyed. I thought whats the point if we just die and lose it all I was so angry at the cruelty of life. Then after a while, sat on the pile of debris, I realise that there was also no point in trashing my room. It didnt change anything. The outcome would still be the same. So I tidied my room, and told no one. Ive kept it a secret for 40 years. I could never commit suicide, because in my mind Im already dead. This might sound strange to some, but I know that at the end of my time, its waiting for me. This doesnt make me sad or upset me. It makes the time Im alive more precious. I see life as a book. There are shitty chapters and good chapters. There could be an awesome chapter in there, and Im not going I miss that, Im not going to close the book because Ive reached a bad chapter. I dont intend closing the book until Ive reached the end.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 20:08:45 +0000
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