This time last year I was making some of the most difficult decisions Ive ever had to make. My world was crumbling and I was desperately trying to fix it. Doing everything out of emotion and hardly any real logic. I look back and see someone that had reached the end of their rope. Exhausted, overwhelmed, broken and facing the end of a life long dream. Admittedly I wonder who she was and how I had gotten there in life. Ive reflected a lot over the last almost year since downtown music closed. Not a day goes by that I do not get reminded that it was open less than a year ago. Life was a blur , my health was failing and every single relationship friend , family or personal was falling apart at the same time. The darkness that tried to creep in and make a home inside me was frightening. Ill be honest a few things pulled me through the few weeks to follow after announcing the closing of Dtm. The out pouring of love and support from everyone you could imagine was the most shocking to me. I was scared to face it alone and out came the positive feedback and support. I was never alone I realized. It literally saved me from the end. For that I am forever grateful. My family even ones I never get to see reached out to me . My mom even with everything on her plate still came to help me and check on me. You stuck with me through all my break downs even when you were the one getting it taken out on you. I lost it Ill admit. But there was only one person that was physically next to me and held my hand through screaming , through total meltdown crying episodes , through deep reflective moments where I could talk for hours, through drastic physical ailments and endless restless nights. This went on for months. Trying to dig myself out and away from that darkness that so desperately tried to take over. Some will Say it was Satan, some will say it was a demon.... I dont care what the label for things of this nature are .. I just know that i have seen how low I could go and Im proud of how far above that level I am today. One person saw me in all my dark glory and still holds my hand and loves me, uplifts me and pushes me to take my dream back and work harder. Daniel Austin you didnt have to do anything for me, but you did everything. And for two stubborn assholes to be able to do and accomplish the things we had and continue to.. thats something to be proud of. And thanks to you guys for sticking with me along the way. Im here just gotta come find me at the Rev Room! My dream is living on man and I love it!
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 05:09:28 +0000