This year is pretty good here on the farm for apples. Though there are worms. Im not about to spray toxic chemicals onto my food. So the red blushing fruits hang plentiful, but at closer glance are freckled with worm holes and black spots. Sometimes you just have to deal with petty things in life. Really, worms are hardly worth a second thought! However there ARE other petty things... I sit here in the evening and go over my day and wonder just how much interpersonal confusion am I responsible for...and not even know about! What I dont understand is--are we supposed to leave humanity behind like the sages of old did to go live away from everything? Because it sure would be simpler. Maybe then we could become perfect human beings. Somehow I always find having human interactions eventually pulls you into a sticky web of who-said-who did-or-didnt if you know what I mean, and its a bore and it can tear you up if you let it. Then I think of a baby I saw today in its mothers arms. It was laughing, clapping, and showing its two crooked bottom teeth and having a blast. It had a big bow on its head, ruddy red cheeks and was the picture of joy. However ... It had a small tube running into its nose from a back pack carried by a troubled father and mother. Oxygen. Just that memory seems to erase all my irritation at rudeness. How easy it is to lose ones balance over nothing! How easy to give away our inner peace! Some people like to carry grudges like heavy suitcases over rough ground-- they wont drop them even though it costs them dearly to keep lugging. I dont want to be that person. I want my heart to be free for love. Only love. I wonder if its possible? Working daily with animals I can get annoyed but they also make me laugh. Dogs carry grudges too you know-- dont let their cute faces fool you for an instant! Yesterday hubby left the house with one dog in the morning and ten minutes later when I came downstairs to the kitchen I found the grudge match had been played out by a break-in into my pantry. Two sacks of flour had been thrown around, spilling some here and there. Two rolls of toilet paper had been decimated--leaving toilet paper confetti everywhere. Someone had peed in the middle of the room on the stone floor. .. A BIG puddle...And a box of raisins had been opened. Oh yes, and a big Danish I had for my visiting house guests had been completely polished off--only crumbs remained and the plastic and foil wrappers it had been packaged in were scattered about. Somehow I doubt my guests had eaten on the floor... No, that was the canine response to insult and injury: Hubby had not taken them along in the car for a joy ride thru the countryside. Upon entering the kitchen my mouth fell open. I saw the huge mess and then looked about at the culprits. Some were wagging, some hid, and some had no idea anything bad had happened. But the guilty ones figured out pretty fast. I wonder how is it dogs can make you pissed off and amused all at once? How is it though when humans are nasty it stings? These are things I dont know the answer to. Some years on the farm in spring the apple trees are in full bloom and dazzle you with their powdery white clouds of blossoms. But come fall, none of the blossoms bear fruit. Its like that when I cant answer questions-- like how to better deal with people... If I dont learn to watch how I respond when others are out of line the tests will be repeated over and over like Groundhog Day, and at the end of the year another fall will arrive without fruit. I suppose I can only pray for guidance and maybe try to listen a little better to the inner voice.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 00:23:36 +0000
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