Thought youd like this. I especially liked the grandpa is the smartest man on earth one. GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE: Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of birth date so we know who it is. If you need us to stay with the children, press 2 If you want to borrow the car, press 3 If you want us to wash your clothes and do ironing, press 4 If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5 If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6 If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7 If you want to come to eat here, press 8 If you need money, press 9 If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking .... we are listening !!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT? (Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds) Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other peoples. A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady! Grandparents dont have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldnt play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldnt step on cracks. They dont say, Hurry up. Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take their teeth and gums out. Grandparents dont have to be smart. They have to answer questions like Why isnt God married? and How come dogs chase cats? When they read to us, they dont skip. They dont mind if we ask for the same story over again. Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you dont have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us. They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when weve acted bad. GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DONT GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM! Its funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog. Send this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or heck, send it to everyone. It will make their day.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 09:30:24 +0000