Time for a little Virtual Softball!! Its a lovely day here at Facebook Field. The Annual Cyber Virtual Autumn Three Inning Softball Game! Right away, we have controversy as Herb Griff is unhappy that his honey, Eileen OHea and he are on opposing sides. More drama as Lenore Cardillo is unhappy that her uniform shirt is too tight (I swear it was an accident.) and Robin Manza is unhappy with the number she has been given. (I suggest she just turn it upside down...then it will become a new number altogether.) (I swear it was an accident.) Top of the 1st...Joann Zappa hits a double off the wall. She slides into second for no reason ... as the outfielder Anita throws the ball from deep left field all the way to first on a fly. Wow. What an arm. Wrong base though. Pitcher Laura Casini looks into the catcher and says no to each pitch until she gets what she wants to throw: her specialty pitch shes named The Melissa Etheridge.David Sterling was ready for the ME. He hits a long bomb across the field into an apartment building ...and yells, I came to your window! as he rounds the bases to the sound of shattering glass. Allison Layburn Sperduti sticks out her right foot and David goes down. Face plant. Nice one, A. 2-0 Bottom of the 1st...Gaetana Pas,aka The Future Mrs. David Wright on the mound. Her specialty pitch is called Youre Going Back to the Minors, Buddy. Seriously, thats the name of her pitch. She looks cute in her #5 uniform and throws her first pitch right at Mark La Grecas head. At a blazing 16 mph. Mark is not intimidated and hits a rocket to right.Jeanne DEspo is there to make the catch...although on replay it is clear she got lucky. She was running away from a bee and the ball landed in her glove. Amazing. Tough break, Mark.Jo Ann Galante is up next and just before the first pitch, she tears away her uniform to reveal .. a New York Ranger uniform. Clearly a violation. I let it go... because I am Commissioner and well, it is the Rangers after all. I tell her I like her new threads and to proceed. She hits a home run and instead of running around the bases, she raises her stick (bat) like she just won the Stanley Cup. (Looks like Gaetana is the one gong back to the minors.) Pitching change as Marilyn Guidice is now on to pitch. Her hair is all blowing in the wind like a Clairol commercial and she has cute eye black on to deflect the sun rays. Marilyn is all business. She strikes out James McGarvey by using her specialty pitch that she calls, Marilyns Manson. McG can only shake his head. 2-1 Top of the 2nd...Liz Cardito is pitching. Liz loves cats. She carries a cat in her glove while she pitches to Rudy Rank. Hes lazy and kinda strange looking and licks himself a lot. The cat on the other hand, is adorable. Rudy hits a bomb to left... and runs around the bases with a terrible limp like hes in agony... but hes fine. Drama queen. Happy Witha Calmlife gets up to bat and suddenly Gloria Estefans Conga Beat starts blasting through the speakers. The entire team is dancing... both teams are dancing... but Happy is too Happy to pay attention and Liz throws three perfect strikes... while dancing too! 3-1 Bottom of the 2nd ...Joyce Padesky leads off... carefully stepping around puddles and dirt. (She loves her Converse sneakers very much.) I have to go out and clean the batting area for her... but when she does get up, she makes it count. She takes the first pitch and clobbers it to center field over Peter Freemans head. Pete is quite a gentleman as he holds the ball long enough for Joyce to go wayyy out of her way to avoid a puddle. Safe at second! Teresa Cacciapaglia is having trouble seeing the third base coachs signs... and after exchanging hand signals, I realize they are doing the Macarena! She hits a slow grounder right to Liam Francis, easy play for him... but he misses it because he just got a text!! His dad (me) cant believe it and then I notice Deborah putting her phone away. (She keeps it right between the girls.) Well played Deb. Joyce scores, her Cons are still pristine. 3-2 Top of the 3rd...Joann Cangelosi is up. And pitching is her bestie Jackie Stein. Its hot on the field. Herb calls time out and runs into the other teams dugout...where his girl Eileen has just opened a beer. Herb could hear that... or smell it... or just sense it from way out in Right Field. They share the beer and hes back in no time. Now Im not saying Jackie threw a meatball over the plate to let her bff hit it, but it sure looked that way. Joann smacked the ball so hard that all the rightfielder Hertha Geredien could do was watch it sail over the fence. Joann rounds the bases waving her arms like crazy and its 4-2. Herb and Eileen start handing out beers and within minutes, its no longer a game but a party. 4-2 Bottom of the 3rd... Everyones feeling real good at this point and Lisa Louise digs in wearing her Connolly Station t-shirt. I cant take my eyes of her shamrocks ... until Lisa rips one into the outfield. Shes safe on first base. Diane Iafrate gets up. Fresh from her vacation in Italy, Diane has more energy than everyone else. Her hit is a rocket double and suddenly, the game is on the line! I am up next and I strike out. Fail. One out. I am the Commissioner... I make the rules... and put myself up again. And I strike out again! Pitcher Victor Elefante gets me twice, as his adorable daughter cheers from the stands! Double fail. Its up to Ellen Zen. She knows that a Home Run here will won the game!! Jacqueline Civittello is brought in to finish the game with her special windmill pitch and the first two she throws are spectacular. Ellen is not looking good at bat. Her manager, Nancy Lecarie Smith calls timeout and holds a meeting with Ellen. Well whatever Coach Nancy told Ellen worked! She hits a bomb of a home run right into the parking lot and the ball ricochets into a keg of beer right next to the Birthday Boy Don Pupkes car! Beer sprays out and everyone runs to it for a beer shower! Game over, party started. Game over 5-4!!
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 15:42:09 +0000
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