To be read at the dinner table...or perhaps not..... BLACK NOVEMBER When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop. Then he sat me down and spoke real slow, And he told me there was something I had to know; His look and his tone I will always remember, When he told he of the horrors of....Black November. Come August, listen to me, Each day youll get six meals instead of just three, And Soon Youll be thick, where once you were thin, And youll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin; And then one morning, when youre warm in your bed, Inll burst the farmers wife and hack off your head; Then shell pluck out all you feathers so youre bald pink And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin in the sink; And then comes the worst part he said not bluffing, Shell spread your legs and pack you with stuffing. Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat, And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, Id have to lay low and remain overlooked; I began a new diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage salads, juice and diet-cola: And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, I stayed in my room doing jane Fonda tapes; I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half, And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed; But twas I who was laughing, under my breath, As they chomped and chewed, ever closer to death; And sure enough when Black November rolled around, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound; So now Im in the farmers wifes lap; I havent a worry, so I eat and I nap; She held me today, while sewing and humming, And smiled at me and said Christmas is coming.....
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 19:43:29 +0000